THANK YOU! Like seriously thank you so fucking much for driving the share price down. Individual GME investors can double up their positions for much cheaper. The new Netflix movie will have a much more interesting plot now too.
I couldn't really recommend GME to my non investing friends because at 2-300 it was overvalued. But at 90? You best believe I'm getting all the homies into the game now. Because GME could be a growth / value play at these prices. Albeit a growth/value play with a hefty premium. But I don't think my friends will mind. They like watching you squirm just as much as I do!
You hedgies should do your research before spamming the subreddit with bots and getting your shills in the media to bash the members of this community. Do you know who we are? Do you know what we do? I've been on this sub for the better part of a decade now. Our investment tool of choice is 0DTE options! We eat volatility for breakfast and shit it out by noon. We YOLO into far riskier bets than this.
In my tenure as a proud Theta Gang ambassador I've seen many a millionaire minted in these hallowed halls of ours. I've seen people iron hand (the OG 💎🙌) calls during the Coronavirus crash, and puts during the coronavirus recovery. We have a risk tolerance your puny manipulative brains couldn't even fucking comprehend.
I've seen the lads here make and lose money at rates I didn't even think were possible before joining this sub. (Shout out to u/1R0NYMAN ) You hedgies think you're hot shit because you went to an elitist school and have a lot of capital backing you up. Well I'm here to tell you, the only thing more dangerous than an enemy with unlimited resources is an enemy with nothing to lose. WSB is about the risky bets that either win big or lose big. That's what we're fucking all about. At 3-400 per share you had us in our comfort zone. At 90 per share you're basically begging us to fuck you.
It costs us exactly … (the Square Root of Jack fucking shit) to hold. It costs you millions to keep your retarded bets open. You guys are supposed to be the smartest guys in the room how'd you play into our hands so fucking easily? Like god damn this is some "I'm going to dump my life savings into gourd futures" levels of autism.
Like you retards realize that by executing short ladders we can just eat up liquidity even faster right? By eating up liquidity the swings up and down will be even more massive. Individual investors are buying in from North America, from South America, from Europe, from Asia, from Africa! Honestly it's just a matter of time until an arctic researcher drops a few bucks in to complete the set.
You tried to pull a fast one on us but ended up shooting yourselves in the leg to do so.
We'll outlast you.
This doesn't happen for weeks? No worries This doesn't happen for months? No fucking worries This doesn't happen for years? (Thanks for saving us a bunch on taxes!) Again NO FUCKING WORRIES
We've cornered you. It's buy or die. (Buy and Die for some of you retarded fucks lmfao) Buy our shares or die to fees and your clients leaving.
The first one of you hedgie fucks that closes out your short position is going to close for the least amount of money. There are bag holders even on Wall Street. WSB is a "community", can you really say the same for your wall street buddies? Sure they'll help out in a pinch but they'll leave you out to dry in a heartbeat if it no longer becomes worth it. There's a reason they say "There are no friends on Wall Street".
Thanks for the free money. I'll be buying more shares (5 figures worth) when Schwab clears my deposit.
Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor and nothing that I say should be construed as financial advice.
Disclosure #2: Every time I say 'we' or 'our' or 'us' it is out of convenience or shared community. All investment choices made in the subreddit are made by individuals who act of their own accord. I nor anyone else in this community has the right to 'speak' for this community as a whole. All opinions expressed in this post are mine and mine alone.
Not an edit just a note: Internet stickers are cool and all but I'd rather you spend that money on $GME or to just give it to charity. Covid hit a lot of people hard and they need money more than reddit does.
PS: Mods give me a flair god damn it. I didn't really care when the sub was small but now that we're north of 8 million members I feel a bit left out. A good flair and I'll give ya a little something something in the alley behind Wendy's.

TLDR; taking on huge risk and betting everything makes you more prone to paper handing your position at the slightest red. Be smart about your position and your profits. 🦍🦍 💪💪, GME 🚀 🚀 🚀
Alright retards, put on your helmet and take that crayon out of your nose because it's time to get serious.
Diamond handing is important. It's been the most important part of our strategy, no doubt. The concept's easy, but this volatility is enough to age us all 40 years. Not everyone, especially the newer people, are capable of stomaching these drops, so I'd like to offer a more practical (more realistic maybe) guide to diamond handing. At the very least, this guide will help you be more confident in your positions and greatly decreasing your odds of being a little bitch that sells at the first sign of red.
​
If you're just joining us now and bought any of the hyped stocks at current prices or higher:

1. Educate yourself. You bought a stock, which is ownership of a company. Understand the fundamentals behind what your company. DD is not something WSB is lacking in. You have a searchbar. You have eyes. (I mean, unless you don't. That's cool too. Have someone read you DD out loud like a bedtime story. :) ) I really like this DD on Gamestop if you want to learn some more about Gamestop. I don't know (and don't care) about any of the other stocks, so you're on your own. Educate yourself on the company you own a portion of and you'll be less prone to paper hand.
2. Don't sell at a loss. It's just retarded. Fear is one of the worst human emotions and you'll never make money in the market if you're scared of a little red. So if you can't stand that you're down 10% on a stock that swings 50% a day, why did you buy it in the first place? Similarly, if you're down 50% on a stock, it makes no sense to sell it when it pretty much can only go up from there. This isn't to say that stop loss isn't important but I feel like I'll do more harm by trying to explain to you retards on when to use it. So for now, while the hype is still there, just hold.
3. Only invest what you can afford to lose. Don't overleverage. Don't use margin. Seriously, if you're struggling to put food on the table and your last $10 are in AMC like a retard, this game really isn't for you. The reason is that you're so scared for your money that you will make the worst possible decisions at the worst time and lose that money. Don't underestimate fear and desperation. This isn't just a get rich quick scheme.
4. When you're up bigly, congratulations! You win. Follow the advice for OGs.

​
If you're an OG and bought Gamestop when it was double digits:

1. Congratulations you big chad! :)
2. Consider taking a little bit of profit. If you bought Gamestop at like $12, you are up bigly, no doubt, but it can be extremely nerve wrecking to watch your portfolio erase three years of your Wendy's salary in an hour and so you can be prone to paper handing. It will really be much easier if you sell a tiny portion of your shares to at least cover the initial deposit. That way, if Gamestop goes down to $0 (when hell freezes over, but you never know), you at least break even. It'll be easier to sleep at night. I mean, even Deepfuckingvalue does it. Be smart about it.

​
Anyway, it's hard to diamond hand consistently if you have trouble sleeping at night due to how overleveraged you are. It's like a diet fad. The chad that limits himself by 100 calories but sticks to it consistently will do better than the retard trying to fast 72 hours when he's never gone 30 minutes without a sugar donut.
Be realistic and take care of yourself. It's far easier to stay consistent by doing that.
If anybody has any questions on Gamestop, stocks, or options, feel free to ask in the comments. My DMs are open too if you're shy 😳 👉👈.
​
Positions: A fuckton of GME, bought both at $14 and at $300. I buy every dip and hold, I've sold my entire portfolio to feed my GME gambling addiction but I've also sold 8% of my shares to cover my initial investment so it truly doesn't matter anymore if it goes tits up.
Not investment advice. I have one braincell.

I’m young (19). I have no debt to pay for at least 4 years. After that I will likely have a decent paid job and I will be stuck in the eat, sleep, work, pay tax, pay debt cycle. I’ve saved up 10k. At the moment I’ve put 2k in apple, 1k in index etfs, 1.5k in ARK, 1k in NIO. 0.5k in PLTR. I plan to keep on investing any more money that comes in. That leaves me 4k (which I’m willing to risk for high returns) I’m looking to grow this as much as possible within 4 years to reduce my student debt. Now yes, I know time in the market beats timing the market. But the stock market has become a hobby of mine. I look forward to the market opening every day - whether it’s up or down. I’m always looking for opportunities. As of now, the majority of my money is invested in relatively safe equities. With the rest I really want to 2/3x my money. Being in the UK, I can do spreads - massive potential for gains and losses. I was thinking of doing spreads but in a swing trade kind of time frame. I would go big, but only on a decent dip on a well structured, stable stock (keeping a safe margin of course). I have made my fair share of mistakes with spreads, ranging from taking oversized bets on meme stocks, to cutting my losses early on stable stocks only for them to rocket to all time highs instantly after.
Im just a little unsure on deciding between spreads or swing trading by buying actual shares. Spreads allows me to choose my potential gains and losses based on my risk. I would only have to deposit a fraction of the actual underlying stock price. It’s also tax free (though that doesn’t affect me right now). What would the benefits of swing trades be compared to spreads? At the moment I don’t see any, other than the tiny amount in dividends I may get. With just 4k I wouldn’t be able to make many trades at all and the shares I buy would need to be growth stocks to make a decent return.
Am I going about this the right way? Assuming my risk management is good, would spreads be the way to go?

If you’re up for another long read, this is part 2 of my original DD on WSB. Link here for those interested. WSB has been removing my DDs so here I am.
TLDR; there is no tldr. If you are invested in this topic then read the whole thing and make up your mind about what it means to you as you see fit.

My goals from this DD post -

1. There are a couple of important relevant points about short interest that I don’t see other recent GME DD’s talking about that I would like to bring to the table for discussion. I prefix their titles with “forgotten point”.
2. I would like to be objective and only present data while avoiding confirmation bias. If you see me biased, feel free to point it out.
3. Share what I personally think and plan to do moving forward. This is not advice but only my personal opinion.

Short interest data analysis

Preface -

• This analysis was written before the SI official report expected on Feb 9; and is based on data from Ortex.
• The reason for the above is because whether official numbers turn up equal or lower to estimates, they don’t really affect the points I bring up here.
• For the sake of this discussion, let’s assume that current short interest data is accurate and that the report reflects real short interest.

Alright, let’s start by looking at a couple metrics available from Ortex, utilization and on loan.
​
https://preview.redd.it/q5dn66bs7rg61.png?width=3475&format=png&auto=webp&s=67a1a43fc24392f9cdd70de79da13700284dc4fe
Here are definitions provided by Ortex for the data in the chart:
UTILIZATION:
The ratio between the number of shares on loan across all outstanding loans in the wholesale market and the number of shares available for lending at lending programs. 0% means that no shares have been borrowed or lent at these lending programs; 100% means that all shares available to borrow or lend at a lending program have, in fact, been lent. This does not represent the number of shares listed on the exchange that have been lent, because not all listed shares our available for lending; it indicates how much of the supply actually available for lending has been lent. Unless otherwise specified, this is given in decimal format.
SHARES ON LOAN
The current number of shares out on loan
Note that “shares on loan” is less than short interest estimate. This is likely due to naked shorting (regardless whether by MM or otherwise). The difference between those values is ~5M shares, suggesting 5M naked shorted shares but that’s a tangent.

Forgotten point 1: Float shrinks as shorts cover

According to the above definitions, we can deduce the total number of loanable shares by taking the “On Loan” value and dividing it by utilization. This value represents the total number of shares available to loan + loaned out shares, which is the total borrowable float. Aka true float shares minus unavailable to short (e.g cash accounts). We can then come up with the following values.
January 25th -> 48.6M shares January 26th -> 44.7M shares January 27th -> 40M shares January 28th -> 30.2M shares January 29th -> 28M share Feb 8th -> 26M shares

Observations

1. Utilization remained at 100% until January 28th. It started dropping on the 29th, suggesting shorts covering. This means all the borrowable float was borrowed up until January 28th.
2. The values above are suggesting that the size of the borrowable float has decreased significantly.

Point (2) above means one of two things. Either:

• My original hypothesis that the float shrinks as shorts cover is correct. Some covering has occurred, as a result many synthetic longs disappeared.
• OR, a significant number of shares suddenly became unavailable to lend (e.g, people moving their accounts from margin to cash).

I think the latter is unlikely because that would mean retail controls ~1.1B dollars (by current price). Therefore I think the former is what happened thus confirming my hypothesis that the float has shrunk.
This is important because of what I mention in the next section. If you remember my previous DD, I hypothesized that the squeeze should become way more violent as more covering occurs.

Forgotten point 2: Absolute short interest vs (short interest / float) ratio as influencer on squeeze

I’m seeing a lot of posts talking about the absolute value of the current short interest (aka total number of shares sold short). What is surprising me is I don’t see anybody talking about the short/float ratio.
See, whenever a VW comparison was brought up, the smart apes would tend to point out that the reason VW squeeze was very powerful was _not_ because of high short interest, in fact short interest was not high for VW like GME, but specifically because of the ratio of (shares sold short / available float to buy).
See, this is basically supply and demand. The higher this ratio is, the higher demand is and the higher a price would rise during a squeeze.
In case of VW, I’ve seen references of that ratio being ~12. To put this into perspective, for each 12 buyers there is 1 seller (assuming both parties are buying and selling 1 stock each for simplicity). Now let’s compare to GME.

Before recent events

• If you read my original post, you’ll see the data was suggesting that the short / float ratio was around 2:1 at best, 1.4:1 at worst.
  • Although this value was not very high, I speculated that this ratio would increase as shorts start covering because theoretically synthetic longs should start to disappear from the float as they cover in turn reducing the total “real float”.
• I calculated the real float as ~30M shares. See my previous post for what I mean by real float.

After recent events

Now let’s take a second look at what the float looks like now after updated short interest estimates. I’ve updated blackrock and fidelity holdings with the values from their latest filings. Note that these values don’t account for retail holdings; and they only account for top 10 institutional holders so in reality the float should be smaller than this by at least a few million shares.
​
https://preview.redd.it/qhb2dioe8rg61.png?width=1441&format=png&auto=webp&s=afee02e1a4e2d000d21d0738e64af4137e6f0fb4

Observations

• According to the data, the current short/true_float ratio is at worst case 2.4:1. This is significantly increased from before squeeze; the worst case was 1:4:1. Realistically this value is probably much higher as indicated by the negative buyable float.
• In other words, supply is much more scarce now than before. If shorts cover, demand will become extremely higher than it was before recent events. If a squeeze were to happen, theoretically it may be able to reach higher highs than recent squeeze.
• Even if the squeeze were to continue, it would not end until a share offering or a large institution selling a large position because shares are more scarce now.

Speculations from above data

• The share price is currently extremely volatile; I speculate this is due to lack of shares to buy. Any interested large buyers can influence share price substantially very quickly.
• Due to the lack of share availability, I’m speculating that this was the primary reason trading was halted. Deposit requirements increased to 100% because clearing houses saw the squeeze happening and didn’t feel confident that enough real shares would be delivered and wanted money upfront so they don’t become left bagholding when short positions default.

What I think happened

I don’t know what happened, the data is simply not enough. Anybody who claims to know with certainty are lying. All we have is bits and pieces of data we can use to deduce high probability outcomes.
Regardless whether what happened recently was a squeeze or wasn’t, many of the underlying conditions and hypotheses that can cause a potential stock rise/squeeze still exist; just with a smaller short interest.
The primary factor that changed is short interest. But even if that did truly decrease, it is still very high even if it’s not >100% of float; and it also increased the demand/supply ratio with it substantially. The only difference now is if another squeeze happens, it will likely last a shorter time frame.

Speculations about what happened

1. Organic demand initially skyrocketed the price. A partial squeeze happened.
2. Dumb investors/funds that were not prepared got margin called and/or took losses. There were likely new shorts added along the way (e.g at 100 and 200) that got margin called when the price continued rising > 400
3. Smart investors/funds decide to let others get massacred and instead the squeeze with dated calls. I mean, If I’m a shorter and I’m smart, greedy, and I feel confident that the price would go down why would I cover at a huge loss? I’d rather limit my max losses by buying OTM calls at my maximum loss threshold at a few months out; let the other shorts get massacred in the squeeze then cover later after it cools down. If I’m smart, I would have done this as soon as price passed the $20-$30 price.
4. Since there are literally no shares I would wait for price to drop substantially before trying to work out a deal with Gamestop or one of the large institutional holders to buy out their shares at a set price. Maybe that’s why Fidelity sold their position? (Perhaps at higher than market price behind closed doors)

What this means going forward

1. The other shorts eventually need to get out. They can’t get out now due to lack of supply and they’re betting on the company failure.
2. If the company fails and share price drops, current shorts will wait for share availability, or work out a deal with Gamestop and/or large institutional investors to buy out their shares at a reasonable price.
3. If the company succeeds and the share price continues rising, the remaining shorts will eventually get squeezed. Since the available shares aren’t enough to cover, I expect either another halt or behind closed door deals to buy out at certain prices.
4. The time limit for the above is unknown and highly depends on how much the borrow rate is costing the shorters, how the company does in earnings and how the share price behaves from buying demand. If demand keeps growing.
5. If a squeeze happens in the future, it will likely be shorter in duration due to the decreased short interest. It could happen over 1 day. However price could go up higher due to scarcer supply.

My personal stance and departing thoughts

I entered this position from the start because I like gamestop and I can see them naturally growing into a price >$200 over the next few years. This remains unchanged.
Can another squeeze happen? Absolutely. There are still 20M shares that need to be bought to cover which simply currently aren't available on the market. That's even assuming there are no new shorts.
Are the odds of it happening the same as before? Maybe; however the timeline definitely changed. It may take longer time to happen. If it happens, it will also be shorter lived. If the company succeeds and the share price slowly climbs shorts will eventually cover it's just a question of when.
In other words, this turned into a long term play that could happen over months or 1-2 years.
The above may sound frustrating; especially since it’s no longer inevitable within weeks like it was before when short interest was mind boggling. With that said, I’m still bullish. One underrated aspect not talked about often enough is that there are still large institutional holders that have their positions mostly unchanged even though they are now sitting on >10X profits. These guys are smart and greedy. If they’re not selling now then they see more potential and this is bullish.
I entered this position earlier than many so I’m biased in holding. I didn’t sell a single share on the climb. The recent drop cost me multiple $M. The bright side is if this takes a year then at least I’ll pay significantly less taxes on my gains.
I'm not touching this position anytime soon. GME can make $200 with no squeeze.
I hope this helps.

Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

TLDR: Met a guy on Tinder while lonely and depressed. We talked every day on the phone, but couldn't meet because of Covid. He invited me to join him on a Chinese investing app. I didn't question him because I was attached and blindly trusted him. Invested my entire life savings and took debt into the app to invest into "our future". I now can't withdraw that money and also found out I was catfished. Heart-broken, depressed, and will probably be homeless. The guy doesn't know this, and is still taking to me trying to get me to invest more.
​
I met a guy on Tinder, he seems really nice and smart. We quickly moved to talking every day on the phone. He would frequently send me pictures of himself or what he's doing. We also started talking about hobbies and one of our common ones was investing. He lured me with screenshots of this Usdt investing / betting app, and all the hundreds of thousands of dollars he made.
I wanted in since he said that he analyses the data, and only bets when he has good data. He was very dodgy when I kept asking him what the data he is using is - and only saying he will teach me later down the road. So the betting app (yes he marketed as investing USDT, but it's purely betting roulette) has multiple tiers with min balance requirements - 0,20k,50k,150k. Over time , I made 10-15% principle each time I traded with him, so eventually I invested over 150k into the apo because he convinced me that the larger players have more steady volume for analysis. I'm so dumb, and it was all through bitcoins to an app that has no information other than the customer service whatsapp that takes my questions and deposits. He even encouraged me by continually matching my deposits in order to 'help' me earn more. He was such a sweet talker, painting the future we could have together traveling and buying houses around the world.
A couple hiccups - I tried to outsmart the system and placed bets on 4 different options, and since they had positive odds at the 150k tier, would have been guaranteed profits. This caused me to get flagged for money laundering where I then I had to cough up 3% of my balance as a penalty fee within 24 hours or risk my account getting frozen forever. Fine, I thought it was unreasonable, but my fault. I scrambled, asked for favors, and borrowed money to pay the 17k ransom (yes the amount grew with my and his deposits combined). After that resolved, we were ready to make some big money in Dec - since my tinder date says Dec has historically great data for betting. He also showed me a promotion the app was running where we could wnter as a couple, and win prizes depending on how much we deposited. The only one we were eligible for was the 500k deposit one, and of course, we both just needed 1-200k more to finish the challenge and win "free" money. I never should have agreed to this either, but my tinder date's optimism won me over. Now we are stuck in another drama where my tinder date convinced me to participate in the couples challenge, where if we deposit 500k each, we get rewarded 125k. Too good to be true? Yes, but I was blinded. Little did I know as well, that if you don't complete the challenge by the end of 2020, apparently the penalty is losing 3% of the balance every day until you lose 60%.
I'm at such a lost in trying to borrow more funds, as my tinder date continues to pressure me and guilt trip me as he helps me contribute tens of thousands in as well. It's a scam, I'm pretty sure he can manipulate the numbers. The pivot point that woke me up, was when I was forced to ask friends to lend me money (and that they were also going to get loans to help me out). In order to not screw over friends I decided to do more due diligence again. Then I found it, I finally found some of the pictures he used in our WhatsApp conversations online from a chinese real life people photo bank. I haven't revealed that I know about the scam and am still in conversation, but I'm still trying to figure out how i can possible get my money back on this.
I've literally deposited my life savings as well as took out loans and debt to try to complete the deposit challenge. I'm going to be in debt and living paycheck to paycheck for awhile. This is a good lesson - I was emotionally blinded by a guy that would sweet talk with me every day, asking about me, and caring about me. I so efficiently found money to deposit into this scam app, without doing my normal due diligence because I was blinded by .. love? I feel like crap and am just hoping to resolve this well somehow...
Update: I really appreciate the support from redditors here, and I hope this provides a story that others can remember that getting catfished sucks. I've contacted police, IC3, FTC, and a couple of lawyers. The only advise is to see if police will investigate, but I was told chances are slim to none because the culprit is probably not in the country. I'm still chatting with my scammer, and am so far holding family troubles as an excuse to not have any more money to give. He's very persistent though, and still has that silver tongue. Honestly I'm not sure what kind of outcome I am hoping for by not simply blocking him at this point.

I was asked to make a post about some stories within the Casino grounds so I thought I'd share. I have many so I'll do my best to pick the better ones.
Some back information: I've been a Casino Dealer for 11 years, I've been a supervisor for five years, and I've been a Surveillance Operator for one year. I've worked at three properties, none of which are connected or owned by the same company. I've worked on : Government/Private/Native American owned casinos.

1. From Hero to Zero.

At my first Casino, I was one of the first group of people who were trained to deal Roulette . After 4 weeks of working 6PM-3AM then doing roulette training from 3AM-8AM (Not paid) , I actually really enjoyed the game and after about six months I became extremely quick at the number game and the pace of the action was steady with very low margin of errors. Young man walks in, cashes in for $500. He buys in for $2 chips and just loads the board. After a few spins and pretty decent hits, he then changes his chips from $2 to 5$ then to $10 and racks his winnings up to $10,000. It was then, five spins in a row, he loaded the board with some pretty gross bets, and every spin I would hit the ONE number with either NO CHIPS on it, or maybe 1 chip , He lost all $10,000 in a matter of minutes. He leaves , and I go on break. After my break I was going back to the same table and wouldn't you know it, the same young man walks in and cashes in another $500. He tells me he just sold his car outside and this is all that he had left. So we do the same deal, buys in for $2 chips, then slowly starts betting $5 chips, $10, $25...and he makes $10,000 AGAIN. Within the next 25 minutes it was straight agony. Every spin, same thing, he would bet $2500 in chips, and win only $250, $400, and after about a half hour he lost it all . Never saw the guy again.
2) Man down
At this property, we are 24 hours for table games. It's currently 5AM , and I'm dealing some $25 Blackjack to this guy. He's probably early thirties , heavy guy. He's sober as can be, but right away I can tell he's been losing. We know how much you've bought in for, how much your down, or up, and I could see he was down $2000+. After about twenty minutes of pure losing, his temper starts to flare.At this point I now have two other guests at my table. Drinking coffee, not saying a word, just losing their money. After losing hand, after hand, this guy looks me straight in the eye, seized up, starts shaking, he can't move. He tries to punch towards me and smashes his stack of chips all over the place and falls backwards to the floor. I call for security, we cannot touch him due to liability . I can't move from my table because, well, liability / casino cash property, all I can do is try to talk to him. As I'm doing so, these other two woman who are sitting at my table just look at me and one says "OK, dealer, cmon lets go " as she taps the table telling me to start dealing and forget about the guy having a stroke on the floor. As security takes him to the ambulance out front, I had to stay behind for a couple minutes and give a statement. I go on break. I come back, and 45 minutes later, he comes right back in with a oxygen tank and keeps gambling for the remainder of the morning.
3) You get a dildo, and YOU get a dildo!
On a late summer Saturday night, we had a large event for these massive muscle guys/strongman competition type thing. After their show, I'm at the roulette table , and five of these boys come over to play. They were absolutely hilarious. They were feeling pretty good, cashed in somewhat large amounts and I could tell this was going to be a fun time. After about a hour of dealing to these guys, it's almost midnight, everybody is pretty hammered , I spin the ball, and all five of these guys take out these god damn (what I can only tell was) two feet purple dildos from inside their pants, and wiping them around in the air. The ladies were just loving it, one of the dildos landed in the roulette wheel and we had to shut the table down to re-calibrate the wheel to make sure nothing had been changed. I just remember that night was so much damn fun, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I would never forget it.
4) Full Moon
On this day, I was actually training dealers / supervising them on small games like Three Card poker. We opened the table at 10AM, and this older man came and sat down . He played all day. The jackpot was $21,000 and that was pretty high for this table. He played, and played and played. He's one of the players where you know he's wearing a diaper because he's been drinking coffee/pop all day and hasn't moved in eight hours. As the day went on, this man never moved from his chair. Getting closer to midnight, he was aggravated and said "I need to go have a smoke, I'm getting killed in here". He left, and the very next hand, the lady beside him was dealt the jackpot . He didn't say much, but you could just tell he just hated life at that very moment because had he not gotten up, it would of been his hand. The man calmly took his cane , his hat, jacket, coffee, and left. The next morning I found out when he did leave he drove his car straight through his bank and was arrested.
5) Slick Robber
I actually give props to people who can actually pull this off. This story may confuse you so I'll try and explain things as best as possible. A lot of casinos have machines as soon as you walk through the front doors. A man walks up to one of these machines and sticks in HIS $100 bill. He doesn't gamble it, instead he hits the cash out button and gets a $100 TITO ticket where he then takes the ticket to the ATM machine to get his $100. Now remember, his Original $100 is in the slot machine. He then takes the $100 from the ATM and goes back to the same machine, and repeats this process over a hundred times. Essentially he's taking money from the ATM, and loading up the Slot Machine . Now he knows he can't do it too much because if the slot machine gets full of money, the machine will shut down and the slow attendant will have to take all the cash out. So he deposits over $10,000 , then has a small crowbar, he cracks the machine open and makes a run out the front door. To my knowledge he was never caught . But damn, that was pretty smart .
EDIT:
6) Mental Health is a thing.
10PM man walks in to play some high limit BlackJack. This guy knows the game and played well. Dressed nice, drank juice/tea , a little bit of a attitude, cashed in over $10,000. When this man was half way down his buy in, he said something a long the lines of "If I don't win here tonight, I'm going to go set myself on fire." I wasn't sure if he was serious because when people are down, they tend to say a lot of nonsense. I actually left early that night, and from a third party was told he did exactly that in the parking lot. The next day it was clear something terrible had gone wrong in the parking lot .
EDIT:
7) Nothing good happens after midnight
After a busy Saturday night, I was dealing a mix of games, and during this story I was in the middle of Blackjack. I had one young kid (probably 19) sitting in the middle, one older male probably in his later 40's sitting beside him on his right, and I had a really nice couple in their 20's sitting together at the other side. This young kid wasn't playing just sort of watching, and ever time the old man won he would give this young guy some of his winnings. The older man, was a wine drinker, and he had black between all of his teeth, I'll never forget. He's a little drunk but nothing terrible. As the night goes on, the older man goes and uses the washroom, at which point the couple asked the young guy "Oh was that your dad?" and the young guy says "Hah, no I wish!". The couple and I just looked at each other. This old guy, was in complete control over this kid. Absolutely disgusting. The night ends, and I find out the couple called a few of their friends, and they all waited outside by this old mans truck and beat the living hell out of him. 40 years old, sleeping with a 19 year old, completely brain washed . Very weird.
8) That one co-worker where you just wish they would quit.
One of our co-workers, nice guy but had a very big ego and we as employees just sorta left him alone. One day he had enough of the atmosphere and quit. Now usually when you quit, you cannot come back until you paperwork is finalized. How ever, HR was in that day, and he was given the paperwork the very next day. He came in, cashed in $1000, and made $50,000 in about a hour at the Baccarat table. My manager, was extremely annoyed, because now this guy is just mocking the casino and having the time of his life (Thanks for the big tip by the way :) ) and so he decides to call it quits. He wants to ban himself and he wants $50,000 in cash. The casino says Nope, we are going to give you a cheque. Now here's the thing, most business people will take the cheque, how ever you CANT CASH the cheque until the following monday because it's on that day where the funds are available. The casino on the other hand will cash their own check in anytime , because they want you to play. So this guy pretty much said go to hell I want my cash, and he called the police. Police show up, and management promptly gave him the cash.I though it was absolutely hilarious .
​
9) No good deed goes un punished
I was dealing Three Card Poker, and the jackpot was around $17,000. This old man (a regular) was sitting there all day grinding it out. Super nice guy, always a pleasure to deal to. Well, after hours of playing, he stands up and says "Hey john!, can you come here for a minute?" so his buddy John comes over. He says to John "I need to go take a piss real quick, can you play my card until I get back?" John agrees . John takes the chips and I stop him and explain he can't play his friends chips, he needs to cash in and play his own. And he does. Welp, second hand out and bam, doesn't he win it. The old man comes back and is so happy, he can't believe it. John, took his $17,000, didn't say a word to his "buddy" and walked away. I never felt so much hatred in all my life. Didn't give him a dollar, not a thank you, nothing. The old man sits back down again, the progressive resets to $2500, and he sat there grinding away again.
10) The Top Knot
I had this player , young guy, who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty big sizable amount of money, so he played poker every single day for the rest of his days. I will add, he IS a good player. I did not enjoy his company just because of the "Know-it-All" attitude, but he was good. We'll call him John. John is 5'10, and well build, with muscle. John also decided today was the day to show off his Top Knot. (google top knot if you're not sure what I mean) So he sits down, and he's absolutely KILLING the table. Every hand, after hand, after hand. And because he's in such a good mood, he's playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he's just dominating. This one guy at the table decided he had enough. He got up, without saying a word and left. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind John, and takes a pair of scissors , and cuts off his Top Knot. I for one couldn't believe it, dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day.
11) That one bad seed
One of my best friends who I haven't seen in YEARS ended up being part of the crew. Was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself . He wanted that 10/10 woman. A mansion, and a new Corvette. So every month or so we would all go up to the other casino to play. I myself would bring no more than $500, but I couldn't understand how this guy (we'll call him Kyle) was spending THOUSANDS of dollars at the tables. So this wen on for a few months. Well, one day, as we're closing the casino, he and I are in the High Limit room and we're getting ready to close the tables. We are told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper and that's it. Well as the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked Kyle to grab the piece of paper. As he bends over, a great big $500 chip falls right out of his sock. Kyle was fired immediately , but it all made sense. They offered Kyle a deal where if he replaced all the stolen chips they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out.
12) If I ever decide to write a book, this will be the last chapter: <3
After working at my first Casino for five years, I met a Indian woman who was visiting from another part of the country. During this time I was explaining a game to her, which honestly I don't think she even cared. She explained she was visiting and sight seeing , and that was that.Well, two years later I ended up moving to the other side of the country and transferred casinos, and low and behold she worked there as a Dealer. We got married , and it's been 5 years.
13) The Tip
One of our tables that we've had for a couple years had a progressive jackpot that had reached $100,000. The dealer at the table was sitting pretty lonely. Nobody really played the game because people knew it was extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush. This young guy sits down and says to the dealer, we'll call him John. "John, if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000" Well John started dealing, and about a half hour into his shift, he F*cking did it. He dealt him the royal. And you know something?This young lad, kept his word, and he made sure there was a audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there. That pay cheque was real nice. I think we all got about $500 more than usual. The moment that jackpot was awarded they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I'm sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special .
14) The Lawsuit
Now this story I'm going to have to beat around the bush a bit due to the nature of what happened. I can't won't answer any questions that you may have on this topic other than what I have to say because it had a lot of publicity . The waitresses at this casino had to wear very thin sexy clothes. Not borderline legal, but it was noticed. One day they called all the waitresses to come in and explained they were changing their outfit to something even more sexier. Now these new dresses were very very borderline legal . The staff said No way. We're not wearing that.So , friday night comes, and the staff work their whole shift, then at the end of their shift were called into a meeting and were all fired. Welp, one of those ladies father was a pretty big time lawyer. Brough the casino to court and won. They won big. Good for them. We had no waitresses for a couple days haha.
Thanks for reading along, I have many more I can add as the day goes on, those were just some off the top of my head. Feel free to ask any questions of the Casino industry. I don't really have many stories about the surveillance department because that's the one area where I can't really say a whole lot due to its privacy and contracts I was and still am under.

Hi everyone,
Lately I've been reading and watching on the news about Robinhood and I just wanted to give my two cents as somebody who actually researches Gambling disorder in the United States. My goal in this post is to hopefully encourage people on WSB to become politically active in preventing the regulations or removal of certain aspects that Robinhood allows on its investing platform. First, let me define some terms from the Gambling disorder field:

• Gambling- placing something of value on a random outcome in order to achieve a desired result or profit (this last part is added by me as I think it gives a better explanation of why an individual gambles in the first place);
• Gambling disorder: A psychological disorder where an individual is unable to control their gambling to the point that they are experiencing consequences from the behavior. The behavior also has to occur without the presence of Mania, other biological co-morbidity, or under the influence of a psychoactive substance.

In this post I will address a few arguments at Robinhood. The first is regarding the "gambling" nature of investment that Robinhood purportedly encourages. The second is that the average investor needs to be "protected" because they lack the information and knowledge to participate on the app.
When I first downloaded Robinhood, I was skeptical at first and proceeded to uninstall and reinstall it multiple times before I deposited $350 to invest in stock. The app provided me a "scratch-off" with my first deposit that rewarded me with my first stock (some medical company). That was the only time that event occurred. If we look at my prior definition of gambling, technically that is not a form of gambling. I placed nothing of value on this random outcome. If the actual act of investing in stock is gambling this leads to an interesting analogy regarding trading platforms, not just Robinhood.
Stocks are the game (roulette, blackjack, craps), Robinhood and trading platforms are the dealers (giving information on the rules of the game and how much it costs to place a bet), and the liberal market is the casino.
In this analogy everybody is in the Casino, and if you don't play the game you stand to lose regardless as your money loses value to inflation. Even worse, if the casino folds the people that didn't cash out or were fully invested in the casino never collapsing (The Great Depression, the recession of 2008 the coronavirus recession) can stand to lose everything even if they didn't participate (regular person that was laid off) or were placing safe bets (ETF's Blue chip stocks etc).
The Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth, William Galvin, is addressing the wrong issue by suing Robinhood. What should be addressed is the reasons that people even participate in Robinhood or in any trading platform. The average individual doesn't understand the market and the United States does not address this ignorance by providing information on how to properly invest for retirement or provide a welfare structure that protects against poverty as individuals become unable to participate fully in the economy due to injury, developmental disability, age, discrimination or lack of access to the "free" market. To claim that people on Robinhood "gamble" for excitement or risk is reductive. People invest their money on Robinhood for the potential accumulate life changing "tendies" that will protect them from the eventuality that they will be unable to participate in the economy and the government will not insulate them from the fiscal impact an individual will (not if) have to deal with in regards rising medical cost for their healthcare and any other services they would require in order to lead a normal life. If William Galvin is actually concerned about the "gamefying" of investment, he should focus on regulating Wall Street and the Banking sector, because last time I checked investors on Robinhood invest with their own money, not the money of other people.
The argument that the average investor isn't informed also leads to more issues that I guarantee the government doesn't want to address or even ask because it would require an expansion of the welfare state and higher taxes on companies and individuals. If the average American is too dumb to invest using Robinhood that what is the solution? The U.S. government has always fought any sort of government guaranteed income or services to insulate an individual against against insolvency from the free market as can be seen by the desire to privatize almost all forms of government programs such as Social Security, Medicare, Food Stamps and Medicaid. This has already occurred with certain programs at the federal level such as HUD which doesn't do anything to help people get affordable housing and the drastic reduction in funding for colleges and universities especially after boomers were done getting their degrees for essentially free.
So lets examine what the average person has to understand in the American economy,

• they have to be able to plan and invest for their retirement,
• understand loans (including all the fine print such as interest) to pay for college, and purchasing of necessary items for certain areas such as housing or a car;
• Navigate a Byzantine like medical industry that can easily bankrupt the average American even with insurance;

So the average American is suppose to navigate all of the aforementioned areas with little to no government assistance. But Robinhood should be regulated, makes sense. Let's not even talk about that most Americans read at about an 8th grade level and have a tough time understanding that a quarter pounder is less than a one third hamburger...
"Why the third pound hamburger failed: One of the most vivid arithmetic failings displayed by Americans occurred in the early 1980s, when the A&W restaurant chain released a new hamburger to rival the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. With a third-pound of beef, the A&W burger had more meat than the Quarter Pounder; in taste tests, customers preferred A&W’s burger. And it was less expensive. A lavish A&W television and radio marketing campaign cited these benefits. Yet instead of leaping at the great value, customers snubbed it. Only when the company held customer focus groups did it become clear why. The Third Pounder presented the American public with a test in fractions. And we failed. Misunderstanding the value of one-third, customers believed they were being overcharged. Why, they asked the researchers, should they pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as they did for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald’s. The “4” in “¼,” larger than the “3” in “⅓,” led them astray. --Elizabeth Green, NYT Magazine, on losing money by overestimating the American Public Intelligence."
The REAL QUESTION is what responsibility does the government have to insulate the average American from an economy that by its very nature is predatory, especially when the argument set forth by William Galvinson is that the public doesn't understand how to invest on Robinhood. Especially since the government has told the public from day one to take care of themselves as they get older through investing instead of expecting the government to provide assistance. By removing or regulating Robinhood, the fungibility of the average American's dollar will drop in value because they are prevented from another avenue of wealth accumulation, which research shows (at least for those in poverty) they turn to gambling as a means of wealth accumulation because even though the return on a gamble is less it is technically even since their dollar is also worth less.
I think I may have gone on a rant, sorry.
TL; DR,
Please buy me some tendies William Galvin, because I like to be wined and dined before I GET FUCKED!
Robinhood isn't gambling. Robinhood just provides a service to investing on Wall Street, the actual gambling is our devotion to supply side economics which is the original, STONKS ONLY GO UP 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Also, if we are going to start regulating Robinhood because of the actions of a minority (WSB) then we should start regulating other industries that are WAY more predatory and impact a larger amount of the U.S. such as, payday loans, guns, pharma industry, surprise medical bills from emergency rooms, childcare, prison industry, bail industry etc. I bet you the cost to the U.S. economy from those industries is way more than anything Robinhood has done.
Positions: SAVE at 18.45 67 shares; and TQQQ 5 shares at 174.71

hello everyone,
I'm 21 years old, and I'm set to receive a life changing amount of money for which I am incredibly thankful, however I need some advice on what to do with it.
I am a university student, and through various work and my dad, have about 30k saved already. Since the end of last year I've been investing about 10k into the stock market, into "safe" companies (like microsoft, apple etc) and ETFs in order to beat inflation.
However, with this 80k I'll receive, I don't know what to do with it.
I could invest it into the markets, but obviously my ISA only has 10k left for this year, and I won't be able to put the entire 80k into it at once. So that probably rules out investing.
An idea that I had, which I've discussed with my dad is to buy a property outright for about 110-120k and then rent it out.
The idea being that I collect rent from the property, and save it for 5 or so years (probably longer to be honest), interest rates are low as hell right now so I guess premium bonds may be my best bet for saving the rent money.
After the 5 or so years, I'll hopefully have completed university and started working, I'd then sell the house, and use the combined rent money over the 5 years, the money from the house sale, and money I've saved from working to either buy a new nicer house somewhere I want to, or use it as a massive deposit for said new house.
I like the idea, and I'd like to get on the property ladder as quickly as possible, which I have the opportunity to do.
I could probably get better returns from the markets, but I'd have to use 4 tax years of filling my ISA allowance to invest all of the money tax free, and this doesn't seem ideal.
Also nobody can predict the markets, if there's a crash 2 months before I'd like to buy the new house in the future, the entire process would be delayed until the markets recover and I'm able to get my money back from them. 5 years also isn't an awfully long time in the markets, ideally I'd like to invest and leave the money in the markets for decades, but buying a house in 5 or so years takes priority.
I'm not sure what benefits I'd lose because I'd no longer be a first time home owner in the future, so I'd need to consider these.
There's also the possibility of bad tenants and all the possible hassle because of that, but my family would be helping me be a landlord, so I'm not *too* concerned. If it becomes too much of an issue I could find a rental agency to take care of it for me or try and find new tenants.
Finally, I'm not disregarding the markets, I'd still invest whenever I'm able to do so, in order to prepare for the far future.
I'm only 21 but with the amount of money that I'm set to receive I need to consider all options and make the best choice, as it is very easy to blow through and waste the money, which I do not want to do whatsoever.
This was a long post, thank you if you read it all!
I would appreciate any advice, thoughts or guidance you can offer.

Came across a recent interivew in one of my subscriptions. Thought it might be of interest to the MNS crowd.
EDIT: Sorry - interview was with Alan Kohler. Probably part of the raising spruiker circuit.
The financing they mention has now happened in case anyone missed it - recent announcement of placement at $0.28.
Not really DD, but was contributed to my decision at $0.35 for 10,000.
Frank Poullas is the Executive Chairman of Magnis Energy Technologies which started off with a deposit in Tanzania and is now building a battery plant in New York and has got the equipment sitting in bubble wrap about three and a half hours north of New York City. They’re just trying to get some money to build the factory and that’s apparently just around the corner, but we’ll see. They’ve just raised $6 million dollars last year and so they’ve still got $5 million in the bank.
Look, it’s close to happening, or not – this is the trouble with something like this. This is a start-up, this company. Potentially they say they’ve got technology for fast charge, like 85 per cent charge in six minutes, so they’re talking up a storm, no doubt about it. They’ve got a battery built, they’ll be in production by the end of this year, they say, but they’ve still got to get the funding. They’re also looking to build a factory in Townsville, which they’ll get money off the Queensland Government and the Commonwealth Government, they say.
It’s an interesting story and here it is, Frank Poullas, the Executive Chairman of Magnis Energy Technologies.
Table of contentsCash situationCompany historyEquipment in New YorkBattery plant projectFuture fundingOfftake agreementsFast charging battery technologyProduction timingGovernment funding
Frank, we always start these interviews by talking about cash, so tell us what your cash burn is at the moment?
Alan, our cash burn currently is roughly $1.3 million dollars per quarter and we have a cash position currently at $5 million dollars.
And you raised a bit over $6 million last year, right?
That’s correct, it was $7.65m and I think it was roughly September that raising took place.
Do you have any prospect of getting some operating cash in before you need to raise some more?
That’s the aim. The project that we have in New York State, which is our flagship project and the number one priority that we have in the company today, the plans are that that is producing revenues by the middle of the year. In saying that, there is the last lot of funding, the last round that’s required to bring this project into production, which we’re in the final stages of completing.
I’ll get to some specifics on that plan in a moment, but I just thought it’d be a good idea to get some history of this company going back, because as I understand it, it used to be called Uranex, it was a uranium business, you offloaded the uranium assets in 2012 and then found graphite in Tanzania and in those days you were just a non-executive director, right?
That’s correct, Alan. I’ve been personally a shareholder in the company – in about two weeks’ time it’ll be 15 years. I’ve never held anything that long and I was pretty much there post the original IPO in 2005.
And you would have bought into it as a uranium play?
That’s correct. It was originally uranium, post Fukushima the board took the position that uranium would take a long time to turnaround and we’re probably starting to see that turn happening now and it’s been pretty much a good decade since that happened. We were believers in and have always been believers in clean energy and we thought uranium was one of those sort of options. We then took the position that lithium-ion batteries would be the way of the future. We were trying to do deals in the graphite space at the time, not knowing that we actually had graphite on one of our tenements in Tanzania.
So that was originally a uranium tenement, was it?
Yeah, the company at one stage had 15,000 square kilometres of tenements throughout the whole of Tanzania, they were the largest land owner in Tanzania. At the time, rents were very cheap – that all changed very quickly and we literally had a position where just the rents were $3 million US Dollars a year. So we went through a position post Fukushima where we were assessing what was on our tenements and that’s north of Tanzania to south, to east and west, but we asked the guys to keep an eye out for graphite. As you have it, the last tenement that they were assessing was our Nachu tenement and they found the large crop and it sort of went from there.
Going forward then, we were doing a lot of work on processing our graphite. Uniquely, with our graphite, we’re able to produce a battery grade graphite…
But you did some offtake agreements with Sinosteel and someone else early on, didn’t you?
Correct – and that was sort of for the lower end market products that we were selling to them. Whereas, we as a company had to somehow differentiate from the graphite players out there. I’ll go to it in a sec where that sort of thinking did work. We knew we had something geologically that was unique and thus, we were trying to produce a battery grade products and batteries are the fastest growing market for the graphite space, where we were able to produce a product that was high performing without any chemical or thermal purification or any acids, heat treatment, whatever you have.
The reason being, because China pretty much controls the battery market when it comes to the anode materials, purely because any natural graphite has to get chemically processed and in order to do so, it’s pretty much China that has the lax enough environmental laws that allows this to happen. But even they’re cracking down on this these days. The perfect example is Syrah’s project in Mozambique, producing this sort of 94 to 96-97 per cent concentrate that still needs purification methods after it. In order to do so, if it’s going in the battery space, most probably it will have to go through China and hence, why they’re looking at purification plants in the US now.
In our case, we can produce this product in Tanzania, without any purification, chemical, thermal… It’s just a pure, clean, crush and grind and float process that gives us a purification or a grade that is above that 99.5-99.6 per cent mark, which then allows us to do the extra steps to value-adds to the product with just mechanical processes only that allows us to produce a product without any purification methods. We were working with a group in the US by the name of C4V. C4V was working with us on this method and we’ve got that method down-pat, there’s no issues there, but they also had some battery technologies that have been granted around the anode, but mostly around the cathode.
Thinking bigger, going back, probably now five to six years, we thought when you look at a lithium-ion battery, the main cost is raw materials. We’ve got the mining background and we’ve got background around processes, they had the technology, the missing piece if government relation and funding, why don’t we look at partnering up with someone who can help us in that aspect and why don’t we look at producing our own batteries ourselves?
But you could have just sold graphite and stuck with that, couldn’t you?
We could have, but we just saw this market was in its infancy and I still think we are still in early stages. But in saying that, we need to get a move on and fast-forwarding where we’re at today, we have a factory in New York, we have the machinery that produce…
Just before you do that, just go back a bit – March 2018, you bought 10 per cent in C4V, which the real name is Charge CCCV?
Yes.
You bought that 10 per cent, but there was a broader deal you did at the same time, right? Tell us about that.
At the time, we had purchased a lithium-ion battery plant off the Bankruptcy Courts in North Carolina. There was a group called Alevo and Alevo was a new entrant in the battery space, they were producing these proprietary batteries that would go into a shipping container that would then sort of be used for energy storage and more grid applications.
What, would be the size of a shipping container?
Yeah, be the size – so lots of little cells in a big shipping container, which could be used to stabilise the grid or could go up against solar panel or what have you. The problem they had is, they licensed a lot of their technology, but one of the pieces of technology they had was the electrolyte. When these batteries were going into these containers, after a little while the electrolyte would start blowing up, so they started having some major issues, which then literally led to their demise and downfall…
Blowing up is definitely a major issue.
Of course, and not being able to sort of fund the repair of it, where the major shareholder decided to pull the pin on this plant. The equipment that we purchased, whether they were making their batteries or we’re making our batteries using different raw materials, or Tesla’s making their batteries, we’re talking about the same machinery would be used for whoever the vendor is or the producer that is making these batteries. We purchased this plant for $5 million dollars US. Alan, 18 months prior, they had spent $210 million dollars just on this equipment.
To take it a step forward, some of the machinery that they had purchased further down the track was so new that it hadn’t even been put on the manufacturing line. The machinery that we’ve purchased, its current models and what we’re out there doing right now – maybe I’ll just take a step back. We then moved this plant to New York State, where the Government had provided us with a facility in a place called Huron Campus. Huron is the birthplace of IBM. IBM originated out of this campus, or what we would probably call a business park. We’ve been provided with one of the buildings in this business park that produced previously semiconductors or circuit boards, high tech manufacturing…
How far from New York City is it?
It’s about three and a half hours north, as in, in a drive, and it’s more in the traditionally what’s a blue collar manufacturing area, which the New York State Government is now trying to reinvigorate…
What, did you get the thing for free or low rent or something, did you?
Very low rent – and the Government also provided us with a funding package which has a couple of milestones and hurdles to hit which we will hopefully be hitting in the near future once we secure our funding.
So you’ve picked up $200 million dollars’ worth of equipment for $5 million bucks and moved it to Upstate New York?
That’s correct. The moving process pretty much costs close to as much as purchasing the whole plant, so that was $2.5 million US to move from North Carolina to New York.
I bet it did. Was that before you bought the stake in C4V?
It was at the same time. C4V obviously were keen to participate and to provide funding towards the plant. We thought, from a Magnis point of view, we were keen to buy into C4V and this was a perfect opportunity where we could buy our stake and the proceeds could help C4V in keeping a large stake in this New York battery plant.
They’ve got a stake in the battery plant as well, right? Do you own half of the plant or what? How does that work?
Four owners at the moment, Alan, and that’s Magnis at just over 53 per cent; C4V is just over 45 per cent; and then there’s two groups, one called C&D Assembly, the make battery management systems, they own roughly 0.7 or 0.8 of a per cent; and a group called Primet Precision Materials, that produces cathode materials and they own 0.7 of a per cent. They had larger stakes initially, but then through funding pieces where Magnis and C4V have been putting funding into this project, they’ve been diluted out. If you look at indirectly, with Magnis’s 10 per cent stake in C4V, that roughly takes us directly and indirectly at 58 per cent of the project.
And so, where is this project at now?
The project – we have the factory, we have the machinery in the factory. We’ve done all the engineering studies, we’ve done everything that’s required to get us to a point where we’ve got fixed prices on putting the equipment back together and so on. But in short, the equipment’s in the plant, bubble wrapped, and we’re trying to complete this last stage of funding which will then allow us to put the plant back together, hire the team that we’ve identified – we’ve brought a few members of that team already onboard – and then pay for the first 12 months of raw materials for our production.
It’s roughly a $40 million US Dollar piece, Alan, and once that is in, we’re roughly nine months away from production. As I sit today talking to you, I believe that within the next four weeks we will have this funding piece completed, which will then allow us to produce these batteries by the end of this year. Alan, this would be the second-largest plant in the US and in the top 10 plants in the world, so we’re talking about a significant plant, it’s not some small plant, it’s at gigawatt scale and you look at other battery peers in this space who are at that level, there’s sort of this rule of thumb currently and we know this market’s hot right now, where for every gigawatt hour of production that you have today, we can’t compare ourselves because we’re not in production today.
For those who are in production, there’s roughly this $5 billion US per gigawatt hour of battery production in valuation. That’s where we plan to be – and we believe we’re on track – to be producing at that level…
At what level?
At gigawatt scale.
A gigawatt hour of production?
A gigawatt hour of production – we will obviously start and work our way up and within nine months we believe we’ll be producing at gigawatt scale, but we plan to start that production by the end of this year. We’re not talking about revenues four years away or three years away like a lot of these lithium producers or medium-term lithium producers who have got billion dollar market caps right now. We will literally be in production by the end of the year and we’re talking at gigawatt scale and have revenues coming through the door.
You’re saying you only need USD$40 million for that?
Correct.
What sort of funding will it be, is it equity or debt or a combination?
I think it’ll be a combination, Alan, and the majority will be in equity. The challenges we’ve faced to date with our funding is purely when you look at – we went down the track of trying to get as much debt as possible and the challenge we face is, we’re not manufacturing these batteries right now at high scale and we don’t have the brand where we’re in a…
No, you’ve just got a factory in bubble wrap.
That’s exactly it, so we’re a start-up and being a start-up, anyone who’s started their business understands the challenges that we face. Obviously, with the market and the actual heat in there and the interest in the market right now, it’s brought in a lot of potential equity investors and we would expect when we announce our funding package the majority will be in equity and as I’m speaking to you, I think there’s going to be at least one marquee name who will be coming in as one of these equity investors, someone who will be using these batteries and will be an off-taker of ours as well.
What sort of batteries are you going to make?
Two main markets that we’re targeting, energy storage and the transportation or auto industry. We already have, Alan, over 10 offtake agreements that are binding to date.
Are they offtake agreements for batteries or for graphite?
The offtake agreements that we have, Alan, are for batteries and we have what we call our R&D facility in Binghamton University in Upstate New York. In that facility, C4V is one of seven private companies that are based out of there and they have a $300 million dollar battery facility that was funded by The Department of Energy. Obviously, the university works with a couple of private entities to try to promote not only business in the area, but also R&D. Out of that facility, one of the Magnis directors in Professor Stanley Whittingham is based out of that university and I’m sure most out there would be familiar with Professor Whittingham – he was the original inventor of the lithium-ion battery and roughly 14 months ago was awarded with the Nobel Prize for the invention of the lithium-ion battery. He sits on the board of Magnis, he’s based out of that university.
To date, our offtakes, getting samples and getting our batteries qualified have mainly come out of the facility at the university. Alan, we’ve also got live battery packs in products to date. There’s a group called Martec which is based out of Florida, they produce products mainly for the US and British Governments and they produce these unmanned boats or submarines and unmanned vehicles mainly for surveillance purposes, and they have our battery packs in their products right now. These boats will go out on missions…
I thought you hadn’t made any batteries yet?
No. To get these offtakes, you’ve got to go through a long qualification process and we’ve gone not only through this qualification process with Martec, we’ve actually got live battery packs in their products. What I’m saying though, we haven’t produced out of our New York battery plant because it’s bubble wrapped, but we’ve been able to use the facilities at the university to make smaller quantities of batteries which are in live products to date.
I see, okay.
The university’s battery plant is sort of at 50-60 megawatt hour scale. We’re talking about, our plant is at gigawatt scale, so more than 20 times the amount that they’re able to produce. It’s mass production, whereas that is smaller scale production, more for R&D and research facilities, but it allows us to get our samples out there, which it then has allowed us to get these offtake agreements. When we mention energy storage and the EV market, typically you will not get contracts from EV providers or from auto manufacturers unless you’re mass-producing. The perfect example of that was the CEO of Volkswagen, about eight months ago at a conference, came out and said, “If you’re at gigawatt scale production and you’re not talking to us, come to us. We need to speak to everyone who’s at gigawatt scale production.”
We’re speaking to a lot of these and all the major auto makers and working on programs with them, but you won’t get offtake agreements, as far as we’re aware, unless you’re actually in production.
Right, fair enough. Aren’t you also saying that your batteries are going to be fast charge, like 10 minutes or something?
We’re working on this fast charging technology, Alan, which gives them 85 per cent charge within six minutes. We’ve gone down the path of cycling this battery and we’re using these unoptimized cells. We’ve then taken it now to the next stage which is using commercial grade optimized cells and we’re going through the cycling now. We’re also working on a program with the New York State Government, where we’re providing the battery packs, BAE Systems – so, BAE, the British company who’s pretty much known more for defence and satellite capabilities, they are also a large bus producer which most people wouldn’t know. They have a facility in Upstate New York, close to where we are and near us in Huron Campus.
They’ll be providing the busses, we’ll be providing the battery packs and Con Edison, which is the largest power producer in New York, will be providing the charging facilities, so we’re working on this demonstration program to prove to the New York State Government that we can use this fast charging technology on transit busses and the aim for the New York State Government is that they go to an all-electric bus fleet. The thing that’s lacking – if they could do it today, they would do it today, but the charging is the main issue. And we believe we’re onto something, Alan, but with all these technologies, as you’d be aware, there’s a long process of commercialising a technology.
To give you an example, if the batteries we use, say, in Martec’s products – in order to go to the point that we’re at right now and putting these battery packs and having the technology commercialised, patented and so on, it’s roughly a 10-year process. When you hear of a lot of these new technologies or such and such, a certain university or certain companies that believe they’ve come up with some kind of invention and so on, to go down the path of getting a patented and commercialised, you’re talking at least five years minimum and we’ve gone down that path where not only have we got commercialised technology with our partners at Charge CCCV or C4V, we’ve actually got the machinery and the equipment to mass produce this. I think that’s something that’s lost in the local market. I’ll give you an example of how tight the market is right now – you may have seen one of our recent announcements where we’re working together with the largest abattoir in the southern hemisphere and the New South Wales State Government where we’re looking at putting a battery on that abattoir and they’re going down the path of looking at solar and other initiatives and they’re trying to get off the grid as much as possible or bring down their power costs because they generated a lot of power in an abattoir.
We will be using someone else’s cells in this process because our New York battery plant won’t be up and running in time for this project. The quickest lead time we can get to purchase cells and when we look at cell manufacturers, there’s six major makers that produce 90 per cent of the world’s lithium-ion battery cells, being Tesla; Panasonic; in Korea, LG and Samsung; and CATL and BYD in China – the quickest lead time we can get is four to five months. That’s the amount of the shortage there is in the marketplace. You’ve had Jaguar, Daimler and – I’m just forgetting the third name…
It doesn’t matter. When are you going to be in production?
By the end of the year – and these major auto manufacturers – sorry, it was Audi, Jaguar and Daimler, have come out saying some of their electric models have been delayed purely because they can’t get their hands on these cells. Even though they’ve got these huge contracts with groups like LG and Samsung and Panasonic, they cannot make these things quick enough and they’re building plants all over the place right now, especially in Europe and in Asia. In our case, we believe the US market is a great market for us purely because they’re focused on manufacturing products in their country, US-made products.
We have a supply chain, as far as we know that will be the only supply chain in the marketplace that has no China influence and we’re looking at bringing that locally to Australia as well, where we’ve completed a feasibility study for our Townsville project and we’re working very closely with the Queensland Government in materialising this project and bringing it…
Tell us about Townsville, you’re going to make batteries in Townsville too, are you?
Yeah, that’s the aim, Alan, and we’re talking about starting off at 6 gigawatt hours and then moving that onto 12 to 18 gigawatt hours. We believe the Australian market is large enough and we believe it’s a great location also to some of the countries in Southeast Asia as well.
Is the Queensland Government going to give you money?
To date, they’ve funded the feasibility study that has been completed. We’re looking and speaking to not only the Queensland State Government, but also the Federal Government of Australia as well. There’s government applications that need batteries and at the moment the majority of the world, not only Australia, is reliant on mainly Chinese battery manufacturers and I think for some of the sensitive applications that are used in Government practices, it would make sense that Australian made batteries are being used with technology that has been co-developed by not only us, but by our partners overseas and our partner in C4V is also in this project, has an interest in this project in Australia as well.
So I presume with the Townsville one, you’d have to pay full freight for the machinery, you can’t pick it up off a receiver or liquidator for $5 million?
No, no, look, that’s a one-off, Alan, and we’ll never get that again. The beauty from our case is, we get the New York battery plant going towards production, we’re demonstrating that we can mass produce these batteries. I don’t think there’d be any bank or any fund in the world who then wouldn’t fund a project locally, just the same as if Tesla was to build something locally here in Australia – I suppose with their market cap they wouldn’t have any trouble at all – but, I’m sure they wouldn’t have any trouble with getting funding out there and we think by getting a New York battery project up and running, that will help us to get funding and exercise the confidence not only to end users, but also to governments and all stake holders that are able to do this at mass scale. That’s the aim and New York being so close to production is sort of that perfect segment into our Townsville project here in Australia as well. They’re the two main markets that we’re focusing on, Australia and the US market.
Yep, but obviously, your Townsville project is a little further away?
Correct, and hence why New York’s that focus, because it brings those revenues in in the short-term as well.
What’s happening with Tanzania and your graphite deposit there, have you been building the mine?
The project is shovel-ready, Alan, so we’ve got all the mining and environmental approvals. We’ve brought out all the land owners, gone through this compensation process. It’s literally ready to go but requires funding for the project. We’ve got a team over there who’s working very hard mainly on the financing side and on the offtake side at the moment, but being so close to revenues with New York, that’s obviously first and foremost for the company as the main priority is New York. But obviously, we’ve got a high quality project in Tanzania and that’s something that we would love to get up and running as soon as possible. With the interest that’s come towards battery material stocks at the moment and looking at non-China supply, we have been getting a lot of interest coming in in the last few months, which we weren’t getting prior to that. It’s something there in the background that we sort of call our sleeping giant, but in saying that, New York is the main focus for us.
Very good, well it’s been fascinating talking to you, Frank, thanks.
Really appreciate your time, Alan.
That was Frank Poullas, who is the Executive Chairman of Magnis Energy Technologies.

I saw a post on another subreddit, where the employer had terminated an employee, wanted the employee to sign an exit agreement that would cause them to forfeit some rights, and threatened to withhold their last paycheck until they signed the agreement. This is illegal, and a common tactic used to intimidate people.
My ex worked for a small candy company, and used her free time to conduct R&D on new recipes, which ultimately never made it to production. When she quit, they told her that she must give them any and all recipes she created in their kitchen, even personal recipes. Her original employment contract had zero language about intellectual property rights, meaning they had no claim to her recipes. I emailed them, saying that she had no contractual obligation to give them her recipes. I also informed them that withholding a paycheck is against federal and state law, and we would be glad to hire a lawyer. They balked, and the check was deposited within minutes of me sending the email.
United States federal labor laws prohibit the employer from withholding pay for hours that an employee worked. Most states have laws that expand on, or reinforce this. You should not allow yourself to be bullied into signing anything in exchange for your final check. You have rights, and they are not required to inform you of those rights.
Many employers will use this tactic to negotiate more favorable terms for themselves, because they know that most people are unaware of their rights, and are easily cowed into submission when their money is threatened. They are allowed to do this because they can only get in trouble if they are reported. Most of the time, you won't even have to report them; just inform them that you know it's against the law for them to withhold your check, and they will straighten out really fast.
They know the law, and they are betting that YOU DON'T. Prove them wrong, wipe that smug look off their faces, and laugh your way to the bank while you deposit your check.

Sorry if this is not the right sub, but I'm not sure which other would fit better.
I'm seriously thinking of moving from 100% to 80% time (1 day off a week) when COVID (hopefully) goes away, if my employer lets me. I'm wondering what potential problems this can bring. I have a small list with questions below but tell me if I'm missing something. I don't count the obvious: -20% brutto money.

1. Mortgage: I am planning to buy a flat/house in a couple of years. Is it harder to get a mortgage if you're not full time employed, or do they hopefully just care about the salary, deposit, Schufa etc?
   
2. State pension: do they care or is it just about how much money you put in? Of course this is not my only bet as I am saving on the side in everyone's favourite ETF. I am planning on retiring in Germany.
   
3. Holidays: I should ask around about what would the impact be in my company, but I guess it's expected to reduce them by 20% (30->24)?
   
4. Health insurance: no impact? I'm with public insurance.
   
5. Future employment options: I think my job is quite stable and I like it, but if / when I apply for other jobs, I can always go back to 100% if needed. Will the previous 80% be considered badly?
   
6. Immigration status: I'll check this myself, but I expect it to be fine. I'm on blaue karte so should get the 'permanent residence permit' (Niederlassungserlaubnis) in a year or two.
   

Anything else?
My background: age 35, married + 1 kid, very happy with my job in IT, great salary even after the 20% reduction, good savings rate, good accumulated savings. So my thoughts are that I'm in a pretty good financial situation, so if allowed and if it doesn't screw up other aspects of my life - why not have one extra free day? 5 working + 2 free -> 4 working + 3 free days sounds like a large difference for quality of life, spending more time with my family and kid before he's too old, personal development (actual time to improve my German!), doing sports / improving health, etc. -20% brutto is a small price to pay and I think I prefer it to saving more and retiring early. Thanks!

This post has been updated as of 10/31 @ 1pm.

So, I've never had to do one of these...but, post Zeta discussion goes here.
Update as of 10/29 @ 10am: Ugh, I had a huge update posted and my computer decided to accidentally back button and remove the update...anyways, we did it guys. We survived hurricane Zeta. In fact, we ate so many cosmic brownies that Zeta got scared and it went from being a hurricane to a Hurrycane. Ha!
But in all seriousness, consider the speed of the storm as a blessing as it got in and out quick enough that the damage might have been minimized. In fact, this storm may set some records. It's already the strongest storm that has ever directly passed over the City of New Orleans and it might be one of the fastest travelling storms on record.
On a personal note: I hope everyone is safe and sound. This storm was a lot more intense than everyone was expecting. Hopefully, the amount of damage you experienced was minimal and the most you have to do is some branch clean up.
Additionally, I hope that these hurricane threads have been useful/calming/enjoyable. I'm looking for feedback! Knock on termite infested wood that this is the last storm of the season. It certainly won't be the last storm ever, but come next season, hopefully I have enough materials to be prepared. The quickly thrown live thread was a bit of a disaster (and for the temporary time being, I was having fun? I don't know if that's the best word for it), but that was due in part to me uhh...being in the middle of a hurricane, losing power and cell signal. Sorry that it was a bit of a disappointment (but at least there was one - I tried!) Anyways, let me know if you have any feedback or ideas. Hopefully, I did my mod duties well. :D
Lastly, I do want to sincerely thank you all for the support with my "What is Damp May Never Dry!" shirts. Believe it or not, I woke up this morning to a TON of orders - which is awesome since a good chunk of the money is going to charity. As mentioned, I'll be making a donation at the end of the month and in November, so you have time to purchase (hopefully New Orleans won't need one of our own!) Although, I do have to say, I'm a bit miffed to find out that the shirts have already been stolen by one of those t-shirt spam bots...remember, if you're not buying it from canallinedesigns.com, it's a counterfeit (I can't believe the audacity of the shirt bots).
I'm going to be updating this post with some more information shortly. I think I have a good idea of what this thread should contain. Like I said, I've never had to do one of these - but based on the comments so far, I think I can make a post.

What's the Power Situation?

The first question many people have is: When will I have my power restored? The answer to that question is: It entirely depends on the circumstances surrounding your specific outage. It could be hours, it could be days, it could be weeks. People freak out when they hear it could be weeks, but it's the truth.
Ultimately, until an crew is able to assess the damage and the problem specific to your neighborhood, they will not have a time frame for availability. With how much damage has occurred, you can expect your local power utility (likely Entergy) to not even give you a time frame. You should anticipate the worst and hope for the best.
As of 10/31 @ 8pm, Entergy has released estimated restoration times for each neighborhood. I cannot stress this enough: This time frame is a generalization and is not guaranteed.
For a more specific timeframe or your neighborhood's availability, Entergy provides a very complete and accurate power outage map that is available here. If you click "location" in the menu, you can select an icon and it will give you an estimated timeframe if it's available.

I need power - what can I do?

This is a complicated question to answer in general. Here are some quick tips:

1. Get a hold of a generator. Sorry that this seems obvious, but this is your best bet to get power to your home. There is always a run on generators before and after storms, so this likely won't happen unless you're lucky. If you're super lucky and your neighbors have whole home generator, beg them to provide you an extension cord.
2. Find out what friends have power. Another obvious point, but reach out to friends (even acquaintances) to ask if they have power. I guarantee you that people in general aren't bad. There isn't harm in just asking. Post storm we're a community in need and a lot of people are happy to help if they can.
3. Talk to your neighbors that have power. Look, you probably hate them because of their obnoxiously large fence. However, as noted above, we're a community in need. If they have power, you can ask them if you can charge some battery banks (if you have them) or charge your devices. I'm pretty sure they'll be happy to help - they'll be more happy to help if you exchange a charge for a bottle of wine. Plus, you might become friends!
4. Coffee Shops are a life line right now. Go to a local coffee shop that has power. A warm cup of coffee will probably perk you up. There's a whole host of coffee shops right now that have power and they'll be happy to serve you if they have power. Don't abuse this though. Clearly, don't show up with a minifridge.
5. Follow other local businesses on social media. There are several local businesses willing to help you in this instance. Local bookstores for example. You can charge your phone while also trying to find a new book to read while you don't have power. What, you think Kindles will last 5 days? Go analog!
6. Use your car to power some items. Believe it or not, you have a giant generator if you have a car. Is it inefficient? Yes. Does it work? Also yes.
7. Go to the New Orleans Public Library! See the comment about bookstores above? Well, the New Orleans Public Libraries are encouraging people to come charge. Plus, you can get some books to read for free!
8. Check out this Community Power Map. Imagine Waterworks is managing a community power map. Have a spot? Make sure to share it with them!

Are schools still closed?

Due to the extensive damage and power outages, several school districts have announced school closures. As done in the hurricane megathread, below are a list of the announced school closures. For a more complete and up to date list of school closures, please refer to this article from WDSU.

• Orleans Parish:

NOLA Public Schools (NOLA-PS) announced the cancellation of all distance learning and in-person classes for Friday, Oct. 30, due to ongoing power outages across New Orleans and to give our students, families, teachers and staff time to assess the aftermath of Hurricane Zeta.
This decision includes the closure of NOLA-PS central offices and the cancellation of food services for families on Friday as well.
Superintendent Dr. Henderson Lewis, Jr. and his team are working with schools to determine the conditions of all facilities and plan any necessary recovery efforts.
The NOLA-PS team will consider the progress of Entergy to restore power, the needs of our school community, and the availability of city services to guide the appropriate timeline for a concerted return to in-person and distance learning for students at all grade levels. Schools and families can expect an update Sunday, Nov. 1, regarding the plan for classes next week.

• Jefferson Parish:

Due to area power outages caused by Hurricane Zeta, all Jefferson Parish public schools and administration buildings will be closed tomorrow, Friday, October 30. All school and district activities and events are cancelled.

• St. Tammany Parish:

All St. Tammany Parish Public Schools and offices will remain closed Friday, Oct. 30 due to storm damage and power outages in our community. They plan to reopen schools Monday if electricity is restored and it is safe to do so. The district is continuing to work in close coordination with emergency preparedness officials to make decisions about closures. Updates and information will be provided, if needed, through social media, robocall, and app notification.

• St. Bernard Parish:

With wide-spread power outages throughout our parish, St. Bernard Parish public schools will remain closed tomorrow, Friday, October 30. The school system will remain in close contact with Entergy and parish government officials over the weekend and will provide an update regarding schools reopening by Sunday afternoon.

• Plaquemines Parish:

Belle Chasse Academy will be closed on Friday.

• Lafourche Parish:

Due to widespread power outages across the district, all schools and offices of the Lafourche Parish School Board will remain closed tomorrow, Friday, October 30, 2020. All virtual learning will be canceled as well.

I have an assignment/paper due!

See sections above and combine them. If your school is closed, chances are your papeassignment will get an extension. Just ask the professoteacher and explain the circumstances - there's a good chance they'll be understanding.

Yo, I have a fridge full of food. What am I supposed to do?!

Well, it depends on how long you're without power. You should follow the CDC recommended guidelines on Food Safety for Power Outages.

• Never taste food to determine if it is safe to eat. When in doubt, throw it out.
• Throw out perishable food in your refrigerator (meat, fish, cut fruits and vegetables, eggs, milk, and leftovers) after 4 hours without power or a cold source like dry ice. Throw out any food with an unusual odor, color, or texture.
• Check temperatures of food kept in coolers or your refrigerator with an added cold source. Throw out food above 40°
• If you have an appliance thermometer in your freezer, check to see if it is still at 40 °F or below.
• You can safely refreeze or cook thawed frozen food that still contains ice crystals or is at 40 °F or below.

The tl;dr infographic is available here. Can't read it? If you haven't opened your fridge or freezer since the power went out: 4 Hours in the fridge; 24 hours in a half filled freezer and 48 hours in a full filled freezer. Those are your time frames per the CDC.
As a pro-tip: You'll want to throw out the foods quicker rather than later. The last thing you want is a fridge full of spoiled meat. You'll become a vegan (not that there's anything wrong with that!) after those pork chops have been spoiled for 3+ days in a non-chilled environment.
If for some reason you think you can risk it for the biscuit and defy the laws of thermodynamics and your food will still be cold after several days:

1. Remove everything and throw it away.
2. Wipe the fridge and freezer down with bleach.
3. Leave the doors open for an extended period of time.

If the fridge still smells after that, use activated charcoal. Here is a helpful article on how to deep clean and remove smells from your fridge. I'm not joking, you will regret not throwing the food away sooner rather than later.

Ok, well now I need new food. What's open?

Check the comments below. Redditors seem to be posting available grocery stores. I will try to post some stores open here, but I can't guarantee the accuracy of the list. I would recommend reaching out directly via phone if you want to check for yourself.

1. Rouses (Gentilly - Leon C. Simon)
2. Langensteins (Uptown)
3. Winn Dixie (Veterans)
4. Costco
5. Rouses (CBD)
6. Breaux Mart (Magazine)
7. Roberts (All locations)
8. Lakeview Grocery

Is the water safe to drink?

Immediately following the storm, if you need to drink something, you should consider drinking from non-tap sources (bottled). However, unless if you have heard otherwise from your local government, the water is likely safe to drink. If you're concerned about the safety of water, you should always consider non-tap sources or boiling water from the tap. Below are official notifications that have been communicated (again, please look to local governments or local media outlets for more timely and accurate information).

• Orleans Parish:

As of 10/29 @ 12pm, here if your official notice from the SWBNO:
"Water purification operations were not interrupted and water pressure did not drop below 20psi. Therefore, your water is safe to drink."
The SWBNO is encouraging individuals to use less water leaving our homes.

• St. Tammany Parish:

St. Tammany is currently under a boil water advisory for 30 neighborhoods.

I have a bunch of leaves and tree branches. What do I do?

• Step 1: Make friends with a guy with a chainsaw.
• Step 2: Get trash bags.
• Step 3: Collect leaves, deposit in trash bags.
• Step 4: Get chainsaw friend to cut large tree trunks into manageable chunks.
• Step 5: Deposit bags on corner like normal trimmings, place larger chunks into a neat pile with rest of normal trash.
• Step 6: ????
• Step 7: Profit and drink a good craft beer with chainsaw friend!

Zeta Specific Stuff:

• Regarding the election: https://www.wdsu.com/article/louisiana-secretary-of-state-governor-focusing-on-power-restoration-at-polling-locations-hit-by-zeta/34522105

Quick tips post storm:

• Be ultra cautious driving/walking around. There are probably hundreds of downed power lines right now.
• Keep your fridge closed as long as possible. Unfortunately, because of the power outage size, be prepared to throw everything out.
• Be prepared to go without power for a few days. At worst, you should prepare for a couple of weeks. It took me 2 weeks to get power after Isaac. This storm took out most of the city and Entergy says it could take 10 days. No matter what, expect an extended power outage.

Feel free to post more "tips" below. I'm exhausted from today and its a bit difficult to type a megathread on my phone. I'm happy to incorporate all the information you guys have or suggestions into this thread as soon as possible.

Wow...just writing that title it’s hard to fathom. As a kid I valued every penny. I saved like crazy. I don’t know when or how I lost the ability to value a dollar. I think the digitalization of currency (credit cards, debit cards, etc) has made it so easy to think of these deposits and transactions as almost like play money...
I couldn’t imagine whipping out $1,000+ in cold hard cash at a casino and throwing it on some stupid ass sports contest. But two clicks on my phone? I’m in. It’s unbelievably addicting.
I know I’m super compulsive and should’ve never started. Back in March I broke my foot and with COVID I was bored out of my mind. Sports and working out have always been my sanctuary. So without those, no sports going on, and without the ability to leave the house somehow I found my way back to horse betting.
Like everyone on here probably knows it started small. $25, $50, maybe $100 deposits. I hit a huge win early and made $5K...what a disaster. I was hooked. Those winnings were gone within a week. Then all the bad feelings....(“you were up $5K how could you blow that”). Then came chasing the lost winnings. That soon turned into $5K down.
I was prepared to make a final bet to try and get back to breakeven (yeah right...I know) on a horse at 30-1 odds. I had done my handicapping and really like the odds. But, I thought I’d finally do the responsible thing and not make one more deposit.
Well, I didn’t. Then the horse won. I couldn’t stop thinking about the what if’s..
I know I 99% blow it all anyways but it really stuck with me. I finally confessed to my wife that I was down $5K and tried to get right. I did great for a while. 2-3 months of not betting.
Then IL legalized sports betting. I thought oh I’ll just take advantage of all the free deposit offers and free bets. We all know how that went. $5K down to $10K, then $20K, then $30K, then $50K. Before I could even catch my breath I’m down $100K.
Fortunately I have a high paying job but this is probably 1/3 of my life savings. I’ve been gambling at work, hiding it at home. I have kids and could’ve fully funded one of their college tuitions...I hate myself and I’ve even contemplated ending it all but I know that would be the ultimate selfish decision.
I just managed to lose another $1000 right before I wrote this. I’ve finally had enough. It’s ruining my life. I know I need help but don’t know where to go. I quit drinking 6 years ago using Rational Recovery and haven’t even had a thought in the last two years about taking a drink but for whatever reason this seems so much harder.
Maybe it’s not, maybe I’m just not ready to quit...my credit card balances and bank accounts tell a different story. It took a lot of tries before I finally quit drinking for good...
I’m not sure what I’m hoping to find here. Maybe some support, maybe some companionship, maybe just somewhere I can vent to people who’ve also been through it. I’ve had to hide the losses once they got over $10K from my wife. If I told her I’m pretty sure she’d divorce me and take the kids....
That’s all for now. Hope everyone is having more success quitting than me right now.