I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

• "The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
  • "I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
• "For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
  • "We're spread way too thin."
• "If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
• RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
  • Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
  • ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
  • Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
  • Widespread match fixing
  • The Pandemic
    • "People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
    • "People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
      • "To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
      • "Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
      • "People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
• "It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
  • RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
    • He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

• RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
  
  • He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
    • He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
      • He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
    • Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
    • RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
    • Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
      • "and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
• He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
  
  • "We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
  • He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
  • "They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
• He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
  
  • He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
    • He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
  • He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
    • RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
  • "I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
  • "Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
    • "Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
    • "That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
• He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
  
• He also says their rankings are a joke
  
  • "Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
• He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
  
• "Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
  

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

• RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
• "ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
  • "Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
  • "Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
    • Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
      • Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
  • "They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
    • "They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
• ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
  • He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
    • Also says more coaches being banned are coming
    • He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
• ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
  
  • "I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
  • "So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
    • "Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
• RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
  

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

• RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
  • On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
    • "Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
      • He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
        • He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
        • The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
        • "ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
• He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
• "All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
  • He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

• RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
  • "Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
• "Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
• Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
  • Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
    • They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
      • "I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
        • "Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
• RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
• "There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
  • "It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
• "It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
  • "I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
• He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
• "That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
  • "All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
• "I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

• RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
• There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
• He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
  • RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
  • He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
• He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
  • He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
    • They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
    • When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
    • "was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
    • He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
• He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
  • He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
• He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
  • He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
• He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
• He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
  • Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
• RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
• RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

• RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
• He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
• Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
• He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
  • He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
• He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
• He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
• New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
• He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
• He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
• He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

• Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
  • Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
• In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
• RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
• He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
• RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
  • A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
  • RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
  • RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
• RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
• Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
  • They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
• RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
  • Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
• He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
• Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
  • RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
• "It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
  • Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
• "Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
• "People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

• RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
• "We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
• "There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
• "How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
• "Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
• "The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
  • He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
• He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
  • "If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
    • "They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
• He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
• "Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
• "This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
• "You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
  • "Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
• "Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
  • "You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
• "I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
  • "I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
• "I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."

Thanks everyone first and foremost for hearing me out on this subject, it's definitely a touchy one that I haven't had many people to run this by for opinions. Generally I just lurk but I come with a story of my own today. Honestly rereading this I sound stupid, but alas.
I want to give you guys a backstory of the relationship before getting to the primary topic at hand, please bare with my writing and this story.
More recently I moved back to my hometown where my family is from due to having a tough time in a larger more fast paced city in Florida. I took a few months off then got employment and started to explore the dating scene as my mind was clearing up and I was ready to see what my old city had to offer. I've never been in a full blown adult relationship before and have been used to just "having fun" with people, ya know, enjoying life. Well I was on 2 dating sites and got a match with a girl, we will call Sally. Sally and I had brief conversation before we decided to meet at a local club. Naturally I'm not the biggest person on new folks as I have a hard time opening up to people because of trust issues (generally speaking I think humans suck) but I decided to take a shot and meet Sally in person.
Mid December 2019
We took separate cars and met at a bar in our city's downtown area. Right as I was about to bail and head home ( I figured I got stood up) she popped up waiting for me outside. We sat in the parking lot for around 3 hours before we flipped a coin to see whose house we were going to smoke at (completely mutual as it's a common interest). I had no intentions for anything that night and honestly I didn't feel Sally did either. We really just enjoyed each others conversation and energy. Through this conversation she told me about her dating experience and how she recently broke up with her ex about 6 months back and she was still healing from the breakup due to him having cheated on her. I noted what she was saying but initially I had no eggs in her basket so I really didn't care about the explicit details of her life as I wasn't considering anything serious beyond possible hook up material with her. I did note that she has been in multiple long term relationships, all which ended for different reasons, but I took that as a positive where as I guess it could also be seen as a negative. We also talked about our career paths she seemed a little unsure but said she danced (first red flag, I thought she meant on a more professional sports entertainment level), where I told her I was starting my career in the banking industry. Mind you I do understand the idea of sex work especially when you dont come from a lot of money, the idea of dating one was never considered due to me working in white collar environments.
We talked every day, literally, from calls to texts to facetimes. We really enjoyed each other, my family thought she was awesome, friends were a little iffy (due to them knowing her side hustle) and her family and friends loved me (who wouldnt lol!JK). Things were pretty stream line as I only physically got to see her on weekends so we only understood of each other what we wanted to show. And I cant stress enough, if I knew the individual I was dealing with walking in I wouldve steered clear.
She comes from a 2 parent household with 4 brothers, very stable and nuclear which was a good sign for me because I’m in a similar boat. Mother was mean and demanding (sounds familiar), while father was passive aggressive at an unheard of level, which to me was a little odd. She has brat like ways, entrepreneurial spirit, very open minded, and easy to be around when she doesn't have an attitude.
Eventually I admitted I was in love with her, which was a first for me after 29 years of living. We were going through all the relationship steps fast (actually to fast but it flowed and wasn't forced) As time continued to progress I got the chance to learn more and more about the individual including red flags that I brushed under the rug because I liked her so much. I dont know how to really explain it to be honest. Just a few flags that I remember from the top of my head:
-Roommate was Ex BFs Dad whom she allowed to finish out lease after breakup
-Pictures of Ex was on the wall still in living room (which I forced her to take down)
-She was rude, direct, defensive, and emotional all wrapped into one
-The fact that she was a dancer but had plans for a lucrative career in insurance and therapy (plan made enough sense)
She kept things well under wraps with the idea that she was indeed trying to move on from that 3 year relationship.
The context of the relationship with her ex was they were friends for a few years over social media, ended up meeting up, dated casually, then when they moved to the same city (where I reside) they got into a relationship that ended because he cheated on her and she saw the act. Afterwards both individuals wanted to remain friends although it ended bad (odd right?)
During the time I started dating her (pre relationship) there was no evidence of this ex at all up until around April. We officially started dating and taking things more serious in March 2020 which to me was a no brainer because we were literally nuts about each other, simply inseparable. April rolls around and she tells me “hey so my ex just hit me up”.
March/April 2020
I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about the news because I was used to exes remaining exes and people moving on with their lives but on the same token I understood the thought process of being an adult, ironing things out and moving forward on good terms. As time progressed the ex (which just so happens to live 5-10 minutes down the road) and a mutual friend of Sally’s began to hang out again and he would be in the vicinity of Sally’s apartment (Mutual friend lived a building away).
*Mutual friend is a 44 year old male who is a DJ who doesn’t have his life together (not trying to be rude but through her I hear all the details), loves younger folks, and has made sexual advances to my girlfriend that I would personally label as predatory, creepy, and if I were to be honest an individual who I would consider to be a rapist even though Sally doesn’t want to see him as one (long story but it involves him and sally). This would be easy to conclude that their is more going on between that relationship but I think due to her past as a child being touched by different adults and such she seems to have normalized the action, knows its wrong but mislabeling the severity. Till this day I still try to understand how you can be the friend of someone who assaulted you sexually, but the psychology of things are probably just beyond me because I can't relate.
Regardless the summertime rolls around and out of spite for different reasons the ex and neighbor were caught having sex with a self proclaimed porn star in the window of his home to ruffle the feathers of Sally. Sally came home to me crying because she said her “friends” were purposely being malicious and she thought she could trust them. (Red Flag because if you moved on it shouldn't bother you imo)
We had a long talk about the actions and to be honest I should have broke up with her then but I was so wound up in Sally I couldn’t let her go and wanted to be there for her. Apparently they were being spiteful because she was telling another mutual friend (20F) that she shouldn’t be having sex with the neighbor because he’s a creep.
Anyway time passes she forgave both individuals. And they all become cool again. From my perspective this was a huge lack of judgement bringing them back into her life. By this time I developed a hate for both individuals and have started to look at Sally as someone who is attracted to drama and problems. 44 neighbor always has tons of girls that "need" him at his house along with other things like drugs and drama.
I personally am not one to keep individuals in my life who mean me no good but Sally was willing to stick it out with her friends thick and thin.
Now my biggest problem was trust. I had the option of living with my parents until my finances got together for me to get an apartment but I ended up spending 95% of my time at Sally's house. To be honest I just wanted to be with her and her home cut travel time to work in half. I work at a bank and of course over time I got to understand that she was in fact a dancer (or stripper), and when I leave her home god knows what’s going on behind my back. All the people she’s associated with friends, family, or associates would not tell me the truth as to what may be going on. Terrible feeling to be honest but I looked at it as if a person was going to be a bad partner or cheat they will do it no matter the availability to.
Although Sally was a dancer I made it clear I was not judgmental but couldn't take a dancer serious from a relationship perspective and gave her till the end of 2020 to stop. Sounds a little pushy but hey, I didn't want to move one way with someone and they move the opposite direction.
I keep things pushing as I’m the more patient understanding individual between the two of us but something wasn’t sitting right with me about her saying her ex is one of her best friends. Even till now I have a general understanding of the concept but what she seemed to present to me was a have my cake and eat it too scenario which seemed selfish. I feel like I already have to deal with a whole load of things dating her but adding that aspect to the equation is, well, a lot.
I’ve been called self conscious more times than I can count (Red Flag) about my questions about their friendship or why she should be able to do whatever she wants without me being overbearing or controlling. My intuition was slapping me in the face even to the point where I confronted him about their involvement with each other.
To sum up that experience his father works at the same job as my father (weird I know) so I know his father as well. He was open to meeting up based off of me knowing his dad. I told him directly how he is interfering and being problematic as I am cleaning up a mess he created while he is doing nothing more but making the mess he created worse. Looking back yet again I probably shouldn't have done that but at the same time with the information I have now I should have been hostile due to the disrespect I was receiving (all though its not his fault AT ALL).
So here's where it gets interesting
I finally got to the point where I lost my marbles, I could only keep composure for so long in a situation like this. I decided to break up with her. The first time I broke up with her it was over the same individual, he came to her neighborhood where of course I'm always at and asked her to smoke (she declined) but the idea of her being so nonchalant with her declining tipped me off as if it was more normal then a 1 time thing. I got all my stuff took it to my car and she got violent saying I wasted her time, im abandoning her blase blah. She is and will be violent, Sally (at which i found out through doing research) has a rap sheet of assault in her past. Yet again Im very patient and sadly enough I'll admit that I love this girl so I ended up calling a no harm no foul on the encounter and kept it pushing. I stress accountability as with many people dont like to admit their faults, so all was forgive....again.
But that all leads to this
After being in good standing for some time and trying to be an adult understanding that Yes you can be friends with your ex as long as boundaries are there we had a huge situation....
One day I was sleep with her per usual enjoying our saturday morning together when I heard the front door open and someone on the phone. Now mind you, Im already very jumpy and paranoid from the problems I'm already having with her, so I jump out of the bed mad as ever to find the 44 year old guy walking around the living room. I do a humongous sigh as to I know he came over because she allowed him to. We already have had many conversations about her involvement with men and the lack of boundaries and such so my reaction triggered her.
This girl is all of 5'2 and Im 6'9 but when stuff goes down she is always the aggressor. This girl starts screaming at me like on another level I've never heard before. It was truly an out of body experience. Thats when yet again I was over it, all of it, I could have peace at my house and get the love i deserve elsewhere. I pretend that everything is cool until she leaves so I can get my belongings minus the drama which is expected and head home. The guy was apparently given the okay to come over because she was going to drop him off somewhere due to him needing a ride so that she did. She takes off, I call a friend to give me a little support and as she's gone Im taking my stuff and heading to my parents house. This go around I make it home no problems. She calls me crying, yelling, more demon sounds over the phone (use your imagination) even to the point i put it on speaker so my dad could hear and the look on his face was literally priceless. But hey Im home!
(prior to this we got in another fight obviously based off of something she did, and she chased me on the highway all the way to my house. My family was outside waiting for me as I called them to just to verify that this girl was indeed psycho. My father had to sit us both down and have a relationship conversation with us to see if we realized what we were doing or not
Me and my family take bets on how long it would take for us to make up and I head back over there, some said a day, one a week, I wasn't really trying to speak to her anymore because I knew that behavior without change would just keep stressing me out. She told me she missed me, loved me, pretty much everything in the book and said I abandoned her which in a way I did, but that was to avoid the drama that she doesnt realize she creates.
Anyways on day 2 of me cutting ties with this girl she sends me a picture of a positive pregnancy test...dot dot...dot dot dot...
wut
She explained that was the cause of the extreme outburst (admittingly up until that point that was the craziest Ive ever seen her get with me... over virtually nothing). Regardless the message about the pregnancy was earth shattering to me and her. Neither of us were in a position to bring life into the world, financially or in our relationship, plus she was adamant on having children in wedlock. Apparently this was her first time being pregnant and my first time getting someone pregnant. All of this was pretty crazy thinking back on it.
The next 2-3 months were wild to say the least her body was changing, decisions had to be made, and things had to be ironed out.
Long story short we ended up getting a self induced abortion. Not proud of it but neither us nor the relationship were ready for a child. Her parents and my parents understood our thought process but they werent happy as they thought that was the direction we were headed anyways.
There was a point of resentment to me (even though she still wanted me at her house) for a while that seemed to fade as she was coming back to normal. I felt uneasy
-leaving the house to take calls in the car -spending time at the 44 year old mans house a bit more often -having new updates on her exes life, not to share with me per se but they were definilty new updates that Ive told both of them I do not give a f-word about
My intuition told me to dig but I was unsure how. Not a single one of her friends were going to be stand up enough to let me know anything happening behind my back, nor neighbors, nor family....they were all in her corner. I felt like being at her house was being in her world of control.
I took it upon myself to pay extra attention to the passwords she puts in her phone and to be patient. One day she was on her phone laying on me thinking I was sleep when I peered (sp?) over her shoulder to get her 6 digit password.
SUCCESS!
I waited roughly a month to find the right moment to go through her phone to test her loyalty to me and find out the depth of her and her exes on going "friendship"
Early one morning I woke up, had to have been around 4am, to her snoring on my arm. Her phone near my hand close enough to grab. I pretend to still be sleep while unlocking her phone and going through it at a slight distance. I tried to skim through as much texts and pictures as I could.
The conversation of the texts were very intimate, not sexual, but extremely close in connection. I found a picture where they were talking about anime pron, a picture of them washing the kitten he recently had given to her (which im still uneasy about), but then I found the piece of information I was truly looking for a picture of them together laying in bed smiling.
When I tell you I almost made decisions that I would likely have did time over....whew I just sat there and prayed that I didnt do anything I would regret. I started texting his phone from hers, plotting his demise, my heart was black in rage at that point and I wanted revenge. Thats when it hit me, "just go home". I packed my belongings YET AGAIN around 6AM to go home... Funny enough things didnt get violent, instead it got very manipulative
She threatened to do her self in if I left, and wanted to talk about it because she swore up and down she never did anything... All though I believed her on that point there were 2 matters that she was failing to address why I was mad
1 - There was a complete lack of transparancy on the basis of their friendship with me and the fact this all happened behind my back
2 - She was confiding in him during the period of time she was pregnant with my child
3 - She was if not physically, emotionally cheating on me
*side note - because she is a dancer and has already told me the friends she has are personal and intimate, shes a personable person where I dont really like people and dont care to keep them around. Few know the REAL me but the friends she has knows her ins and outs and vica versa.... So even though i stick to my accusation of cheating, she has shown that she only holds close relationships with many people so ehhhhh
Anyways I made the dumb mistake of not taking pics of the things I saw on the phone and sending it to my phone. Till this day I still regret that.
The following weeks after that were odd. Very odd. We had many conversations about how to fix this (mainly on her end). Spoke about boundaries, holding ourselves accountable. Gaining true understanding and such. So in a sense we ironed the problem out... but now I know this individual has the potential to do things I detest behind my back, I lack trust... To be honest I dont even know if I'll ever get that back with her. Im mad I went through her phone, but I'm even more mad at her actions. All of it is truly exhausting.
Now here is where I play devils advocate and list the good things to give a slightly more full picture(briefly of course due to the positive not being the issue)
Outside of her being a brat in the relationship she is very nurturing, motivational, money oriented, friendly, and fun. We share a lot of the same interests, tastes, and for the most part share a lot of the same thought processes. We come together in a more Yin and Yang relationship where my strengths are her weaknesses and vica versa. Im a capricorn and she is a virgo.
Obviously no person or relationship is perfect so I hold my own flaws as well but Im asking for opinions.
This is the first woman I can honestly say that Ive ever loved and spent time understanding, or at least trying to.
After dating this woman for a whole year I dont believe she is handling me properly in reference to her exe(s). There was no apology, admitting of wrongs only gaslighting of what I did. Obviously there are other problems that I have experienced 2020 with her but would that be a deal breaker for you guys or do I need to grow up?
WHO EVER ACTUALLY READ UP UNTIL THIS POINT THANK YOU.
Update: Her and 44 year old are no longer “friends”
TLDR; My current girlfriend is still close with her ex, almost trauma bonding, and it makes me uncomfortable to the point that I question if she is even remotely worth it or can even trust her again. Seems like a real have my cake and eat it too situation but would be livid if roles were reversed. Opinions?

Last updated: November 24, 2020

Introduction

I'm pretty new to the series, picking up my first heavy save file within the last couple of months. I have 200 hours and have done most of everything, taking me to end game. I realize the game changes often, so a lot of helpful resources are somewhat out of date. I wanted to add a little of the knowledge I've gained to help out anyone who might be stuck or for newbies who want a better grasp of the game. I skipped a lot of the stuff that's easier to search for.

About No Man's Sky

So what is this game all about?

• The best way I've seen it described as next-level Minecraft in space. If you're the type of person who likes games where you collect resources, craft a bunch of stuff, build your own base, etc. you will love this game. Same if you love exploration, discovery and hoarding tons of items. If you're looking to scratch a competitive itch, it may not be the game for you (although you can kill lots of stuff).

Do I need to follow the main storyline?

• I mean, only if you want to. The storyline is like 1/16th of this game, imo. You can do just about everything without completing any of the story missions. If you're lost and unsure of what to do, the storyline is a great start. (This may need to be verified, perhaps you might have to do a couple of the starting missions first to progress naturally).

Basics

Is there any way for me to get fancy blueprints other than the Construction Terminal and/or tutorial quest?

• YES. I didn't know this until way too long because the game doesn't make it super clear. If you want to build something but you need a blueprint that you don't have, it's most likely going to be on The Anomaly (which you can summon from space, anywhere) on the Construction Research Station (different from the Construction Terminal you place on your base). Each blueprint costs Salvaged Technology to unlock. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but a lot of the quests that have you interact with your Base Computer and hire Terminal Staff, they reward the same blueprints for 'free' as you can buy in the Anomaly.

Does it ever get easiecost less fuel to take off in my Starship?

• YES! It gets way easier. I don't even remember the last time I fueled my Launch Thrusters. To improve this dramatically, make sure to buy Starship Tech from the Anomaly and install up to 3 S-Class modules per inventory (general/tech). I can freely fly around as much as I want with little care in the world and it didn't take that long to get to that point.

How can I collect more of [resource]?

• If it is a basic resource like carbon, tritium or phosphorus, your best bet is to buy out a space station that carries the resource. For more rare resources I like to keep a paper list of which resources are stocked in which stations.
  
• If it is a mineral you can buy it or make a base on a planet that has the mineral and build a Mineral Extraction Unit and some Silos.
  
• If it is a gas you can buy it or make a base on a planet that has the gas and build a Gas Extraction Unit and some Silos.
  
  • Also keep in mind, gasses refine to other gasses at a 3:1 ratio, or combined with other items using a Large Refiner for a 1:1 ratio.
• If it is a Harvested Agricultural Substance, you can build Biodomes to harvest just that one resource in bulk.
  
  • You can also plant them outside if you’re in the right Biome.
  • If you still don’t have enough, learn the element that goes along with the substance (like Cactus Flesh/Pyrite) and refine them together, which will create a little extra of each substance.
• If it is an Animal Byproduct (milk, eggs, berries), find a planet with a lot of different fauna and camp out somewhere with a Nutrient Processor. Craft a ton of Creature Pellets and Bait specific for that animal and throw them around, trying to round up the other creatures on the outskirts of your radius.
  
  • Note: The Nutrient Processor has its own inventory called Ingredients Storage. This inventory can be accessed by any Nutrient Processor you build, which is great for stocking up on stuff you’ll need on-the-go.
  • Note: Keep in mind that Bait only stacks up to 5, so you’ll save yourself some slots by only crafting as much as you need at one time.
• If you still can’t find it, download the app called Assistant for No Man's Sky which will show you where to source an item and what you can refine to get it (if possible).
  

What is Quicksilver and what can I do with it?

• Quicksilver is a currency which can be used to purchase special titles and cosmetics, as well as a Void Egg (which eventually spawns a Living Ship).
  
• You get Quicksilver for one Nexus mission per day. These quests must be completed in one go, so if you crash or exit the game, you will need to pick up a new Quicksilver mission at the Anomaly. At this time you can get up to 250 Quicksilvemission.
  
• All Nexus missions can be completed in multiplayer. I wouldn't advise soloing them if you’re a brand new player but once you get some decent upgrades and familiarize yourself with the quest types, it’s no problem at all to solo.
  

What is Tainted Metal and how can I find it?

• Tainted Metal is a currency that can be used at Scrap Dealers to buy some cosmetics and X-class upgrades. Currently Tainted Metal can only be found on Derelict Freighters.

Teleporting

Where can I find teleporters?

• Every Space Station has a teleporter.
• The Anomaly has a teleporter.
• You can build them on your base (but they require power).
• You can build one on your freighter.

How does teleporting work?

• Teleporting is like fast-travel. You can go to any place that you have visited before within reason. I believe the teleporter holds the last 50 bases and space stations you have visited. There are certain places you cannot teleport to:
  
  • The Anomaly
  • Your Freighter

Can I go back to my base if I forgot to place a teleporter?

• YES. You can teleport TO any on your bases from any teleporter, but you can only teleport FROM that planet if you build a teleporter and it has sufficient power.

Note: Space Stations only appear on your teleporter if you have actually landed on the Station and (?) gotten out of your Starship.

Base Building

How can I expand my base (to reach a hotspot)?

• Open the build menu, choose an item you wouldn’t be able to build unless you had a base (like a flag or a battery) and walk away from your base toward the area you want to expand in. Once you see the build menu ‘revert’ to away-from-base status (it will show less options), step back a few until you see it reappear. Reselect your item and build it right at the edge. This should automatically expand your base’s radius. If you are unable to build still, place a save beacon and save your game. Then, reload and try again.

How many solar units should you attach to a battery?

• For me, having two solar units per one battery has worked.

How can I make sure my base stays powered overnight via solar?

• Connect everything up to your grid and look at the max grid size. Your total power generation needs to be at least 2x your grid size. If you hook up two solar panels per battery, you can't go wrong this way.

I'm running out of electricity, but I'm already using an Electromagnetic Generator

• Simple solution: build more generators, as close to the center of the hotspot as you can. The generators need to be connected to each other to be considered part of the 'grid'.

I'm having trouble finding a specific hotspot type (electro/gas/mineral)

• The best way I've found is to turn the audio up and listen for cues. If a hotspot isn't showing up on your scanner, if you listen you can tell which direction to go by the sound effect. It will be very faint and quiet. Just center yourself toward the sound and sprint/jet in that direction, periodically checking the scanner.
  
  • Sometimes I've noticed that it's easiest if you discover all hotspots in the area. For example, if you're looking for an electromagnetic one and it's not nearby, sometimes you need to locate the mineral & gas hotspots first.
  • Note: Some mineral-specific or gas-specific hotspots are a pain in the butt to find. If the resource is listed on the planet info (you can press F and look up at the sky to see planet info) there will be hotspots for that element/mineral. For gasses, it's based on planet type. If you look at that article, you can check if you're in the 'right' place for a particular gas.
  • For this reason, if you're building a base for the purpose of extracting resources, I recommend locating the specific hotspot of choice first. Remember, if you can't reach an electromagnetic hotspot (or don't want to go to the trouble of expanding your base to reach one), you can always power stuff with solar panels.
  Pro-tip: Easy base build: Build a large square or round building and you can fit 5 solar and 3 batteries inside, they auto click into place. You can even build it underground. It is more than enough to power a basic base and save having to run wires around so long as the buildings are connected. As your base gets bigger just build more as your foundations.
  

Exploration

How do I get an Atlas Pass (v1, v2, v3) and what do they do?

• You craft an Atlas Pass yourself, with a blueprint that you find in Manufacturing Facilities. With the v2, you can open the red lootable canisters and some (?) doors at places like observatories, outposts, manufacturing facilities, etc. Behind the doors are just some extra loot/lore stuff.
  
• Once you craft the v2, you no longer need v1. Once you craft v3, you no longer need v3.
  

How can I find a high economy system quickly?

• Okay, so this one blew my mind. First, you need to craft and install an Economy Scanner in your Starship.
  
• Then, you just need to go to the galactic map. See the stats when you hover over each system? Each one has a star rating (except for dead systems with no station) and if there are 3 stars, it will be a high economy one.
  

I want to get to [x] galaxy, but I don't know how.

• If you're looking for a specific galaxy, the easiest way is to hang at the Anomaly for a while and check the teleporter every so often. When you are physically near another player (and your multiplayer is on, which it is by default) you have the option to teleport to their base. When you're viewing the teleport locations, you'll see the Galaxy name under the base name like: [Eissentam Galaxy]. Then, just teleport to their base and fly into space, choose a random system and make your base there! This doesn't erase any of your bases like traveling to the center of the galaxy does.
  
• You can also check out PanGalactic StarCabs who are committed to helping players travel anywhere they want to go.
  

How do I solve the puzzles in the Observatory?

• These puzzles look something like this: 4634-6344-3446-****
  
• Solving them is easy. Find a number that only appears once, like 3. In the first 3 sections, the 3 appears in the 3rd, 2nd, and 1st places. That means the answer containing the '3' in the 4th place is correct. I suck at explaining though, so here's an article that explains it well.
  

Getting Units

Early Game:

• Go underground and scan for Humming Sacs and collect as many Albumen Pearls as you can find to sell.
• If you’re on a planet that has Vortex Cubes, you can collect & sell these as well.

Mid-Game

• Take quests from a space station. Any quest that asks you to scan objects, kill creatures, kill sentinels or fight pirates can be stacked with other similar quests from other space stations. For example, if you pick up 5 quests to kill creatures, you can knock them all out in one go. If you feel like spending time exploring an entire system, it doesn’t hurt to pick up the system-specific quests either.
  
• If you build an underwater base and do some exploring underwater, you can find Abyssal Horrors which you can shoot in the eye and kill in order to loot Hypnotic Eyes which sell for a bit.
  
• Once you’ve visited a bunch of different stations, teleport to a station and check what trade commodities they have on ‘sale’ (the maximum something will go on sale for is -80%). Buy these items and then teleport to other stations to sell them for as high of a markup as possible.
  

Late-Game

• Make use of the blueprints you learned at Manufacturing Facilities. Craft Stasis Devices and Fusion Igniter for maximum profit.

Getting Nanites

• If you’re still in early-game, the best way to get nanites is stacking quests from Space Stations. There are two easy(ish) ways to grind nanites quickly, but they rely on you knowing certain recipes and having specific resources:
  
  • Farm Abandoned Facilities for Larval Cores. Each Larval Core refines to 50 Nanites. You can find a ton of Abandoned Facilities really easily if you install the scanner on your Nomad Exocraft. It will allow you to scan specifically for these structures.
  • Craft a bunch of complex food items (the complexity is determined by how many ingredients, etc.) and visit Cronus at the Anomaly. It will take a bit of mindless clicking but you can give him a food item and he will give you between 15-500 Nanites (the wiki says 0-129 but I have definitely gotten more).
• There are some other ways to get nanites, which I'm including below but I've found they are a little more grindy to get, if you need a lot of nanites quickly.
  
  • Salvaged Technology refines to 15:1 nanites, so you can sell those once you've unlocked every blueprint.
  • Platinum refines to nanites 35:1 nanutes.
  • Pugneum refines to nanites 25:1 nanites.
  • You can interact with spheres, cubes and flat, round black sphere projectors at Space Stations and some other locations for a few nanites. Also there are wall units that look like a yellow cylinder that you can interact with for some extra.
  • Damaged Machinery awards some nanites as well.
  • Scrapping spaceships is also a decent source of nanites, because they usually give you a ton of mid-range upgrade modules.
  • You can sell any unwanted tech back to the technician for a few nanites.
  • Refine: Residual Goop > Viscious Fluids > Living Slime > Runaway Mould which refines 5:1 into nanites (but it takes FOREVER!!)

Exosuit

• Pro-tip: You can stack 3 of the same technology in both the Exosuit general and the Exosuit technology inventories. This means you can use a total of 6 S-class modules of, for example, the Movement and Shield modules.

Multi-tool

You can have up to 3 multi-tools. You cannot destroy them but you can exchange them for another multi-tool at a Space Station or Outpost. Multi-tools come in four types: pistol, rifle, experimental and alien. The latter two are the rarest. Experimentals tend to have high scanning stats and Aliens tend to have high damage. You can only see the multitool type if you are comparing yours to another.
What kind of weapon should I use?

• There are four main weapons: Scatter Blaster (close-range shotgun), Pulse Spitter (automatic), Boltcaster (semi-automatic), Blaze Javelin (charged laser). According to the wiki, the Scatter Blaster has the highest damage potential of these, followed by Pulse Splitter.

What is a secondary weapon and how do I use it?

• Secondary weapons are bound to right-click (L1) and can be set up by going to the tools menu (X on PC) and selecting a secondary weapon. The main ones are Plasma Launcher (grenade) and Geology Cannon (cannon that destroys terrain). Both of these are charged with Unstable Plasma. You can also bind the Personal Forcefield (my personal preference) which lets you project a shield with right-click that is pretty darn good at blocking damage. Alternatively, there is also the Combat Scope that lets you zoom in slightly when aiming (doesn't work with Blaze Javelin).

Pro-Tip: Since you can have up to three multi-tools (and switch between them whenever you want) it's not a bad idea to spec out certain multi-tools for certain purposes (one for high scanning/mining, one for high damage, etc.)

Starships

How can I find a new Starship?

• Starships are mainly acquired in two ways:
  
  • Use a Planetary Chart (distress signal) to find and claim crashed Starships. Not every chart will lead you to a ship, so keep trying.
  • Buy/trade directly with NPCs at Space Stations, Trading Outposts and Colossal/Planetary Archives. The latter two have a higher likelihood of getting rare and high-class ships, though.
• Pro-tip: Claim each crashed Starship you see, fix the Launch Thrusters, Shield and Pulse Drive and then fly it to a station. Don't scrap it immediately, but wait at the station to see what flies in. You can talk to any NPC standing beside a ship and see how much they'd sell it for. Find one equal to your ship's worth and trade it (this will remove all of the broken slots making it worth more). THEN, scrap it (unless you really like it) for maximum value.
  
• Note: For the special hyperdrives (cadmium, emeril and indium in that order), you only need the highest level tech installed. When you get Emeril Drive, get rid of Cadmium. When you get Indium Drive, get rid of Emeril.
  
• Note: While on a planet, you can switch your Starship view to 3rd person for a better view of the planet around you. Not recommended for space travel, though.
  

Exocrafts

What is the benefit of using an Exocraft?

• Honestly? Speed. The two Exocrafts I use the most are the Nomad and the Pilgrim. With all of the tech installed for scanners, boost modules, engine modules and acceleration modules there isn't much room for a laser and/or a cannon, much less extra inventory slots. I use them to get from point A to point B more quickly than walking, unless the destination is like more than 3 minutes away once I hop into my craft. Then, I'm just gonna fly.

How do I get an Exocraft?

• Collect a bunch of Salvaged Technology and head over to the Anomaly. You can buy it at the Construction Terminal but you have to use A/D (or arrows on PS4) to cycle to the Exocraft Technology screen. Then, you just have to buy the Geobay and construct it.

How can I use my Exocraft?

• Once you construct a Geobay, you can summon your Exocraft anywhere on the planet (by pressing X).
  
• If you don't have the Exocraft Teleporter yet, you can just carry the mats to craft the Geobay, and then if you're on a planet you want to explore but you don't wanna be tied down to one area, you can craft and immediately delete the Geobay and the Exocraft will stay, and you won't waste the resources you used to craft it.
  
• If you have the Exocraft Teleporter, just craft that and then immediately delete the base (if you wish). The only requirement is that you must have those Exocrafts built somewhere in the Galaxy.
  
• If you build the Orbital Exocraft Materialiser on your freighter, then you can summon any owned Exocrafts in any system that your freighter is in.
  

Freighters & Frigates

What exactly is a freighter and why would I want one?

• A freighter is basically a base in space. You can build rooms, storage units, a teleporter, etc. It has an inventory just like your starship which can be used to store items and install technology. You can warp your freighter around, but you can also summon it in space or from a planet (however, to go to red, green or blue systems, you will need the special hyperdrive on your Freighter for that color system.)
  
• Having a freighter lets you participate in frigate fleet missions which is basically like an idle game. You send your frigates away, and come back several hours later to collect resources.
  

How do I find more frigates?

• Pulse around space, stopping every 10 seconds or so. You should hear a loud warping noise if a freightefleet is warping nearby. Recruitable frigates are marked with a green unit symbol. Fly up to one and it will prompt you to open your communication thingy (X on PC) and you can see their stats and recruit them.

My frigates keep coming back damaged, what can I do to prevent this?

• You must create a fleet that is two (2) stars higher than the mission you are sending them on. In other words, if the mission is 3 stars, make sure your fleet comes out to 5 stars (see below for more info).

How can I max out my frigate fleets without wasting them?

• Every mission has a type (industrial, combat, discovery, exploration and balanced) and a rating (in stars). Every frigate has a number rating for each of these types. The ‘balanced’ type is looking for high numbers in each category as a whole, which means you can add multiple frigates that can bring up each stat.
  
• Buy the blueprints for the consumable upgrades. Each upgrade corresponds to a type (industrial, combat, discovery, exploration). If you’re low on frigates and need an extra boost to your fleet’s star rating, add a matching upgrade (or three) and watch the stars increase!
  

How can I get frigate fleet consumables without crafting them?

• Sentinel Starships can be summoned by aggroing sentinels on a planet and then flying into space. Destroying them rewards the consumable fleet upgrades for combat and trade missions.

I want a freighter ASAP and I don’t care what rank it is.

• Warp to a few new systems. The magic number seems to be around 5. Eventually, you will be met with a Space Battle where you have to defend a freighter against a bunch of pirates. If you complete this, you can land on the freighter at the end and the captain will offer you the ship for free (only if you don't already have one), but it will almost always be a C-class. You can also keep refusing the offer until you get a Frigate that you like.

I want a Nice freighter OR I already have one but I want a new one.

• Pulse around space, stopping every 10 seconds or so. You should hear a loud warping noise if a freightefleet is warping nearby. Fly to the capital ship icon (white freighter icon) and land. Then, you can go upstairs and talk to the captain who will offer you the freighter for a fee.

What happens to my old freighter when I exchange it?

• It goes poof. Make sure you clean it out (manually destroy rooms for parts) before exchanging it!
  
• Inventory can be manually swapped over (ONLY from the freighter inventory) at the time of comparing/buying the new ship.
  
• You will lose any special tech you have unlocked on the freighter but you will not lose any blueprints/colors you’ve unlocked at the terminal.
  

How do I find more Salvaged Frigate Modules?

• The most consistent place I've seen them is as awards from Derelict Freighters (sometimes), Crashed Freighters (less often), and most frequently, in cargo pods in space. Shooting cargo pods makes you lose rep with the faction that owns the system, though. It also summons space police. If you don't wanna fight them, you can summon the Anomaly to get out. If you're like me and hoarded Vykeen Effigies and other rep-boosting items, you can always spam NPCs with them at Space Stations to raise your rep. Supposedly shooting the pods attached to Freighters don't make you lose rep but that hasn't been my personal experience.

How do I get the Matter Transmitter and why should I get it ASAP?

• The Matter Transmitter is available for purchase on your Freighter. It costs 5 Salvaged Freighter Modules which aren't super common. If you save up though, the Matter Transmitter allows you to access your freighter's inventory along with all of your storage units on your freighter in any system your Freighter is currently in. No more rushing to build a Storage Unit and power it up on some random planet in order to grab some obscure resource you need for whatever reason.

Derelict Freighters

How can I find a Derelict Freighter?

• Once a week, summon the Anomaly and talk to Iteration Helios. He is in the room downstairs with Ares and Cronus behind a counter. He will give you a Broadcast Receiver that you can use in space to find a derelict freighter.
  
• Once you have built up enough units, it’s cheap enough to buy coordinates directly from scrap dealers at space stations. They are $5 mil a pop for the first of the day, and after you can buy another but they go up in price. If it won’t let you talk to the scrap dealer, you need to do quests to level up your standing with the Mercenaries Guild.
  

Manufacturing Facilities

What are the blueprints for at Manufacturing Facilities?

• There are 2 pages of blueprints.
  
  • The first page has blueprints for common items that you’ll need to craft in order to fix and/or install stuff. Most of these things can be bought in space station trade terminals but if you learn the blueprint, you can craft it yourself. Here is also where you unlock Atlas Passes. (Please note: As of the latest patch (Origins) there is a bug with the Oxygen Capsule. If you purchase this blueprint, you probably will lose your ‘Factory Override Unit’ and not get the blueprint, and it will still show up as needing to be purchased).
  • The second page has blueprints for valuable items that you can craft and then sell for a lot of units. The most valuable items are the Stasis Device and the Fusion Igniter.

How to efficiently find Manufacturing Facilities?

• The easiest way is to purchase a bunch of Planetary Chart (secure site) from a space station. This can take you to either a Supply Depot, a Manufacturing Facility or an Operations Centre. You’ll need to go to each site to clear it before you can use another map.

How do I solve the puzzle?

• You will have to solve a ‘puzzle’ correctly to be eligible for a reward. Not all puzzles reward blueprints/etc.
  
• You can drop a save beacon outside the front and save before going in, reloading if you choose the incorrect answer.
  
• If you learn enough of the language, you can start solving the puzzles on your own using clues from the terminal.
  
• You can reference this article from the wiki and ctrl+f the prompt to find the correct answer as well as eligible rewards (if any).
  

Upgrades

What do I do with all these extra C, B and A-class modules?

• You can sell them back to a technology merchant for some nanites.
  
• Alternatively, if you're trying to upgrade the stats on an S-class upgrade, you can save your game and then install an S-class upgrade. If the stats look bad, reset from your last save and use another module of the same type (but can be any class). Then immediately destroy it. Then, install the new upgrade and see if your stats are any better.
  

Expanding storage

How can I expand my Exosuit storage?

• For every new system you visit, you will be eligible to upgrade your Exosuit by one slot. One will be available next to the Exosuit Technology Merchant, and one will be available by summoning the Anomaly in that system and going to the terminal beside the Exosuit Blueprints person. Upgrades start cheap but they go up in price capping at 1 million units each.
  
• Alternatively, you will need Drop Pod Coordinate Data.
  

How can I find/use Drop Pod Coordinate Data?

• The easiest way I've found is to use a Planetary Chart (inhabited outpost) until you get a Colossal Archive (also known as a Planetary Archive). This is a high-rank trade post. Search the Galactic Trade Terminal for Drop-Pod Coordinate Data and buy as many as you can afford. This is the easiest way, imo.
  
• You use Drop Pod Coordinate Data in your Signal Booster to find a nearby Drop Pod. Make sure before you go that you have at least: Ionized Cobalt x55, Antimatter x1, Sodium Nitrate x45, Oxygen x40.
  

How can I find/use Multi-tool Expansion Slots?

• They are offered as a reward for some puzzles in a Manufacturing Facility.
  
• Alternatively, frigates can bring them back from missions.
  

How can I find/use Storage Augmentation Units?

• There are two main ways to obtain them:
  • Running frigate fleet missions will occasionally reward one.
  • Scrapping an existing Starship will occasionally reward one.
• Once you have one, you can upgrade your Starship by one slot at a terminal found in any Space Station or the Anomaly.

Repeatable Missions

What should I be not missing out on, on a daily/weekly basis?

• Every day, a new Quicksilver quest is available in the Nexus. You can skip up to 2 days of missions and when you go on the third day, you can pick up 3 quests (not all at once, but in a row).
  
• Every time you complete a new milestone (or several), make sure to go to the Anomaly and talk to Iteration Ares for some nanites as a reward.
  
• Every so often, visit the Anomaly and talk to Iteration Helios to receive nanites in exchange for Flora/Fauna data.
  
• Once a week, you can visit Iteration Helios to receive a free Broadcast Receiver which will locate a Derelict Freighter for you.
  

Portals

• You can easily find a portal by using the Exocraft scanner to scan for a Monolith.
  
• In the early game if you stumble upon a portal, you probably don't know a lot of glyphs. What I did was just enter a bunch of the same glyphs in a random order and went to a random planet.
  
• Once you learn your glyphs you can visit /NMSCoordinateExchange to visit cool places.
  

Network

• Browse your Options > Network area and make sure you're comfortable with the current settings to avoid getting griefed by other players.

Troubleshooting & Quick Bug-Fixes

I can't expand my base!

• If you find that you cannot expand your base further, save your game and reload your save.

I'm stuck accessing my storage unit and I can't move.

• Open the base-building menu and then toggle build camera (X and then C on PC) to get out without having to restart your game/lose your save.

Stuff keeps disappearing from my refiner and harvesters!

• If you don't regularly play with others and you want to not lose all of the stuff in your refiners/harvesters, then just go into Options > Network and set Multiplayer to Disabled. You can still do the Quicksilver quests at the Nexus, too!

I'm trying to hatch a Void Egg and the coordinates take me to... nothing

• I'm not sure if this qualifies as a bug, but... you must complete the Void Egg quests in the Euclid Galaxy. If you haven't changed Galaxies, it's not an issue, but I wanted to be in Eissentam and it takes me up to finding a planet and giving me coordinates... and then nothing is there. I went back to Euclid and I was able to find it easily.

Bonus Info

• Try this: turn the sound effects waaaay down, and turn up the music. The sound effects are loud enough even on like, 5 for me. The music in this game is really good and should be appreciated so try this sometime!

Additional resources

If you want to learn more about the game, I wanted to list some helpful resources that have helped me a LOT along the way. I tried my best to organize and format this for readability. These items are in no way comprehensive but hopefully they taught you a thing or two.

• Assistant for No Man's Sky - A mobile app that will let you source items and show how to refine/cook everything.
• No Man's Sky Wiki - The up-to-date wiki.
• Xaine's World - A gorgeous, interactive fan-made resource that doesn't get nearly enough credit on this sub!
• vortexofchaos's Reddit post - A mostly up-to-date indexed list of 'things I wish I knew starting out' written by vortexofchaos

I'm also open to editing and adding more stuff if you guys find this useful!
Please, if any mods see this, I think a weekly/monthly 'Questions' pinned topic would be good, so we don't clutter the main threads. People can ask questions in the comments and then others can respond to them.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards, guys! I'm glad someone found value in my Adderall-fueled frenzy.

I've posted here a bunch of times, and I see some recurring issues. I'm an agent in Nashville, and I wanted to at least write up some advice. I'm sorry it's long, lol.
Picking a RealtoAgent: Please don't go by based on reviews or your wife's best friend's cousin. This is quite possibly the biggest investment of your life, don't throwaway one of the most important aspects of it.
Online reviews are easily manipulated, so if I stole your puppy's toy, most likely your review isn't going to make it. Realtor and FB allow you to control your reviews, so unless it's 5 star or a very glowing 3 star, it's not staying up there. Especially on FB, those reviews aren't vetted at all, so people can have their mothers basically say "So and So is excellent to work with, attention to detail, blah blah blah".
In the same vein, don't go with someone you happened to know by chance. Look, I understand if your best friend is a realtor or someone that's very close to you, but be very careful. It kinda feeds off the theory that it's an easy job that anyone can do, and as many of you have/will find out, it's not the case. You want someone that actually knows the job but can also communicate it to you efficiently.
One thing to understand is that, the best seller in a market doesn't necessarily indicate the best agent. The biggest part of the job is lead generation, which is advertising, networking, referrals, etc, all of which don't really have a direct impact on the job once you actually sign. There are agents that spend thousands every month to show up on Zillow or Google searches because that's the hardest part of the job. It doesn't necessarily mean anything in terms of quality.
There are also teams that usually branch off from one famous person, so all those reviews you may see for a particular realtor doesn't mean you'll actually work with them, unless it's a mega deal. You'll most likely work with a team member unless it's a major purchase (think million plus), so know that about teams.
My suggestion: Pick three or four realtors that you like, and interview them. See which one works best with you. Communication is key, especially as a buyer, because you are constantly changing things. You have to get along with the person, but it has to match with you. For example, I babble a lot because I feel like explaining everything, which may or may not mesh with you. Some people just want someone to open doors, while some want their hands held through the process. You interview them, discuss your wants/needs in terms of the agent/client relationship (not the house) and see which one fits best. It may or may not be the most experienced agent or the most put together person, which is why you need this talk. Please don't go with the first person that popped up without talking to them. Think of yourself as a business person that is looking for help expanding. You wouldn't hire the first person that walks in the door, you want to know if the person can help or not.
Take two days, meet with 3-4 or how many more until you find someone that you communicate well with. This is absolutely vital in the process.
It’s also important to note that the agency that you sign does not lock you in to the agent, even if it states exclusive. So if the agent is bad, you can ask to terminate the contract. You would fill out a waiver that states that the houses you saw together won’t be bought by you for X amount of days. This is to prevent people from looking at homes with one realtor, only to use a family member at the end once they find a home. There might be a fee involved in breaking the contract, especially if you saw a bunch of homes.
Listing Agent: This is the agent that is representing the seller. That agent is bound by their fiduciary duty to the seller, they couldn't care less about you. If I'm the listing agent, I'm looking out to get the best deal for the seller.
In some places you can be a dual agent (it's technically legal in TN but not allowed by my office) where you represent both sides, but it's rare and almost always one person is getting screwed in that deal.
I've seen this a few times, in real life and here, so I wanted to clear it up. Just because an agent lists the house, you don't have to work with them to buy that house. It's not like you can only buy the house through that agent. When an agent lists the house, they put it up on the MLS for everyone to see. The MLS then feeds sites like Zillow. So if a house is listed by say Keller Williams, it doesn't mean you can only buy that through Keller Williams, anyone can buy it through any agency, or even without an agent. I thought this was pretty self explanatory, but I've gotten this a ton where people wanted it to be cleared up.
Remember the listing agent is representing the seller, so any information you share with them isn't protected. So if you're like "I really like this house, I need to move within 3 weeks", you can bet the sellers will know and use that as leverage.
Selling Agent (Buyer's Agent): is the one that's representing you in the deal, has a fiduciary duty to look out for your interests. This is the person you share your concerns like "I really like this house, I need to move within 3 weeks" and then formulate a plan together. This person is your point of contact within the transaction, the one that helps you with everything. Think of a wedding coordinator but one that's not just centered around the bride. That is why you have to communicate well with this person, because you are going to be in consistent contact with them throughout the process.
Commission: So when the listing agent (seller's agent) agrees to list the house, they have a commission agreement with the seller. So it'll be like say "6% of purchase price as commission" to the listing agent. Then that agent turns around and offers (usually half but obviously could be different) half to an agent that bring them the deal from the MLS. So it'll be like "Buyer's agent to get 3%". So each agent keeps 3% in this scenario (no set numbers just hypothetical).
Here's the rub, the buyer doesn't impact this. There is no section on the Purchase Sale Agreement contract that deals with the commission. If you are my client and our contract offer is accepted, there is a separate contract that I send directly to the seller's agent agreeing on the commission. It doesn't have signatures or releases for the buyer.
In this scenario, the seller is paying for the buyer's agent's (your agent) commission because it's coming out of that 6% they already agreed upon.
When you first sign with the buyer's agent, you sign an agency contract where you outline what you want. Essentially, it just means that person is your agent but there is a section that mentions the commission percentage.
So you write 3% commission, but the seller is only offering 2.5%? This is where you can pay the .5% yourself or if it's not a laborious deal, the agent might just waive it. This is again, where you work with the person that you get along with the best will help you out.
Home Search: Back in the day, if you wanted to buy a home, you met up with an agent, described your needs, and they faxed you a bunch of houses that fit the criteria. You then picked what you liked, and saw the house with the agent driving you around.
That's not the case anymore. Sites like Trulia, Zillow and others get their feed directly from the MLS. You have your own filters, and you can see the pictures and narrow down the choices. It's not the job to sift through homes to find the perfect ones for you. So when you see Love it/List it and the agent randomly takes them to a home, that's not real life, that's TV. You wouldn't randomly go to a house without knowing much information about it, but it's presented that way because the real target audience is you watching the show, therefore to create a similar effect you "find out" about the house together. It's to build a connection with the buyer so you can relate to them. This is also why people think the job is easier because "they are doing the home search part" but that's the easiest part of the job. Heck, sometimes when I'm bored, I'll browse homes myself to see them.
Nowadays, we don't usually drive you around (especially in Covid times) because it's easier to meet up somewhere and then drive our separate ways, than meet at point A, then go to B and C together, then come back to point A again. It's much easier to meet up at point B, then drive to C. You don't really need to go to the office to sign an offer, almost everything is done online.
Market Stats: To understand your leverage, you need to understand the market. You'll hear terms like "hot market/seller's market, etc" but need to translate that into your situation. Things you should know.
LP/SP - List price to Sale price. Essentially, what are people asking for and what are they actually getting. In a seller's market that is hot, you will see stats above 100% sometimes, which means that on average people are getting more than what they are asking for, or a red hot seller's market. When you do this, you also narrow down the field in your price range. So for a 350K offer, LS/SP for the 300-400K range. It doesn't help you if the $5 million home only got $4 million.
DOM: Days on Market is pretty simple, how many days has it been on the market. This indicates if a home is priced right or if it's overpriced. Or if there is something wrong with it. The longer it's on the market, the more curious you should be as to why.
Tip: If a house goes under contract, and then appears back on the market within 10-15 days, make sure you do not waive the inspection contingency. The inspection is usually the first thing that happens after a contract is signed, and usually has X amount of days for it happen, and then Y days (depending on state) for a repair proposal to be accepted/denied. If they don't agree, contract falls through, house comes back on the market.
Price per sq ft: This usually indicates the size of the house you can generally afford in an area. For example, I can get a bigger home in Nashville for 500K than Beverley Hills for 500K. You want to know the average of an area, multiply your desired sq ft range to get a basic idea.
Know the builders, especially in new construction sites. Sometimes you will see a home that is perfect for your needs, under your budget in a desired area. Check into the builders because many companies have a cheap version of their construction company. Think Chevy-GMC-Cadillac and know which one is the builder for the house you are looking at. Your agent could help.
Commute: You want to know how long it takes for you to commute to a potential home. I'm not sure how post-Covid it impacts real estate, but this was extremely important before. You can go to Google maps, put in the address of work and potential home and pick the option to see the average times when you leave at say 5 in the morning on a Friday. Be careful now to go back to pre-Covid dates because there's less traffic now, and it may not be the same time in the future.
You will need these things to help you with the search, albeit there are more factors involved based on individual circumstances.
Agent Disclosure: There are certain things the agent can't really tell you because it's against federal laws or there is a liability issue.
Neighborhood: I can't say this is a great neighborhood or this is a bad neighborhood because then it falls under steering. I can direct you to websites that rank the place, crime stats, census data, etc, but I can't make you go one way or another. So if you ask something like "Hey, is this a good place to raise my family?" Expect a very non-involved answer.
Financial Advice: We aren't really allowed to give you financial advice, but rather direct you to a lender or financial advisor. It's hard sometimes because I do accounting, but I can't act in that manner unless you directly hired me as an accountant. So if you ask something like "How much down payment should I put down?" Expect an answer that leads you to a lender or basic information like XYZ loans require 3.5%
Schools: Same thing with neighborhoods, mainly because people sue based on recommendations. You can get plenty of sites that rank schools and all that information, but I can't tell you if this school is great or if you'll be lucky your kids can tie their shoes at graduation.
Home Inspection: I can't act as an inspector, but rather point things out to you, that need to be asked at inspection. "Oh this could be a sign of water damage" rather than "Yup, that's water damage". It's semantics but it's the world where coffee cups need to be labeled as hot.
Contract Offer: One of the first things you should do with an agent is go over the contract. Yes, it's long and it's boring as heck. You want to know what each section means in a contract, before you write it. It's not just the price that you should care about.
Price: Obviously self explanatory.
What's included: This is where you have to get in writing what is included with the offer. Part of the contract outlines what is generally included, which should be anything bolted in or attached. So the stove, a built in microwave, dishwasher but not the refrigerator, or the flat screen TV. The mount to the TV might be included. So you want to know what is generally included in your market. Then you add anything else that you want included in the home, say that sofa they had or the washedryer.
What's you want removed: Maybe they have some junk in the backyard, you can specify that it'd be removed, or anything else you want to make sure the seller doesn't leave behind.
Leased Items: You want to let them know that you either want a leased item or not. You usually want to avoid this, especially in cases like say a dish antenna or solar panels, because then you are taking over the lease from the seller, and you aren't sure of the costs associated with it.
Earnest Money: This is essentially a deposit that you give to escrow to show you are negotiating in good faith. Usually about 1-2% of offer price, but that differs from market to market. The money is held until something happens with the contract, either executed at closing or terminated beforehand (with the distribution based on termination instructions). So if the contract goes through, you retain the money because it's just added to down payment or closing costs. If it doesn't, then it's based on contingencies if you get it back or not.
Contingencies: Know what are some of the contingencies that are available to you in the offer, and what can also be added. Not everything that you may want would be written in the pre-drafted contract, but you can add them via addendum before sending in the contract.
First of all, a contingency is basically "if X happens, Y can happen, if X doesn't happen, I retain the right for Y to happen, or Z to happen"
Financial Contingency: Essentially, you are saying that I need to qualify for X amount of financing for this deal. Always check this unless you are buying full cash offer. Otherwise, you are saying that if I can't get financing, I can still afford this home. So if you lose your job in the middle of it, and can't get a mortgage, you will lose that earnest money for sure, and risk possible litigation to perform (basically fulfill the contract). If you do have this and you can't get financing to the percentage, you can use it to get your earnest money back.
Appraisal Contingency: This essentially means that the offer is contingent on the appraisal matching or exceeding the offer price. The bank will fund the mortgage for the lower of appraisal price or market price (the one the house will sell for).
So if you offer 500K with 10% down and appraisal comes in at 450K, the mortgage only goes to 450K. So your 50K down payment comes in at 11%, but you are on the hook to pay that extra 50K out of pocket and it doesn't go anywhere. You don't get equity out of it because the mortgage is only for 450K and that's what they deem the house is worth.
Tip: In hot markets, sellers sometimes won't accept appraisal contingencies because they know the house won't appraise. Buyers will offer a higher price to start, get the appraisal and see it's lower, and negotiate the price down based on it.
Inspection Contingency: IMO, the most important one in the contract, as this states you have the right to have an inspection on the house. I will never recommend anyone waive this unless they have money to blow. You get a certain amount of days to conduct an inspection (state specific), and your inspection must be done in that time. If you don't conduct the inspection in that period, and send in a repair proposal, the seller isn't obligated to fix anything because you missed your window. You conduct your inspection, get the inspection report, and then ask for repairs. You don't send over the entire report, but rather just the aspects that you want fixed. You then have a set amount of days (again state specific) to negotiate back and forth. If you agree, you write it as an amendment to the contract and move forward. If you don't agree, you have the right to move forward regardless, or choose to walk away with the earnest money. If you don't have this contingency or if you missed your period, and you choose to walk away, then you may not get that earnest money back.
There are plenty of other ones that you can google : Home Sale Contingency, Title, Kick Out, etc.
Escalation Clause: You can put an escalation clause on your offer by saying I offer 300K but will escalate to say 340K if there are other offers.
Tip: Most likely you are pretty much going to pay the top of that escalation clause. You are basically telling the seller that you are willing to pay up to X amount if someone else makes an offer close by. Agents are supposed to provide proof of an offer, but there's nothing preventing a cousin of the seller making an offer for 339K. It's not ethical, but when it comes to money, people tend to bend the rules, so be careful.
You'll need to understand all of this to make an educated offer. If it's rejected, rinse and repeat. If accepted:
Offer Accepted:
Escrow money is the first thing that needs to be sent out. I like to have the title company hold it, but you can specify who holds it in the contract. You will need to get a check from the bank and send it in, and send a copy to the listing agent to show proof that it's been deposited.
Inspection period, know it from before. Usually the buyer's agent will either be present or talk to the inspector to get an idea of what the issues are. They don't follow them around like a toddler but they'll talk to them to get a better idea of their opinions.
You want to talk to the agent and go through the report and understand what is wrong, what needs to be fixed, etc. Know that houses aren't perfect so there will always be something wrong.
You then decide which things need to be fixed, send a repair proposal. Once you send that repair proposal, your inspection period is over. You can schedule as many inspections within the stated days at first, but it ends when you send in the proposal. So if you have 10 days for inspection, and 5 days for proposal negotiations and you send it in on the 4th day, you no longer have those 6 days. The inspection period is over and the proposal period starts. At least in TN.
Then based on contingencies, you can walk away or agree to move forward.
Once the inspection resolution period is over, you and your agent are mostly dealing with the mortgage process. The lender will require the contract, the title company will require the contracts, and you are going to hand over credit information to the lender.
It is vital that you don’t make big purchases at this time that will impact your credit score. New cars or furniture or anything that could impact it, because the lender will run your credit right before closing, and if something pops up, they may not proceed. Countless stories of closings not happening because they bought furniture or appliances for the new home right before closing. Wait until closing is funded and then go shopping.
It’s during this time that communication with your agent is vital as well because you are going to be pulled in all kinds of directions. You need to coordinate logistics, like getting your address changed, telling your rental landlord, work, mail forwarding, etc. Most likely your agent will have a checklist for you, but you are going to be busy. In the meantime, your agent needs to send contract documents, amendments, to all interested parities (you, seller, their agent, lender, closing company) and keep track of all appointments.
The bank will order an appraisal (as I mentioned before) and they will go with the lower price from the appraisal or the market price (the one you are paying). If the appraisal comes in low, you have the right to negotiate. Your agent can get on the phone with the listing agent and negotiate a middle ground, where the price comes in lower. You do have the right to walk away here (if you have the appraisal contingency) but be warned that the inspection fee and appraisal fee (roughly $1000-1200) will be lost. You’ll need to pay that again for the next home you go under contract for. However, the seller also is losing a bit because they have to disclose what you provided them in the inspection repair proposal, so if the HVAC is broken, they now have to disclose it. They would also have to go through the process of others seeing the house again and all. Therefore, both sides have some motivation to negotiate here, although don’t expect major concessions in a seller’s market because they can get back up offers pretty quickly.
Pick your closing dates carefully, you don’t want it on a Friday because if a financial institution closes for the day, you are stuck until Monday. Same with holidays. It’s safer to pick a day in the middle of the week and in the morning if possible.
It’s a long process and something that needs very good communication, especially the first time. Make sure you find an agent that can guide you through, and you don’t feel afraid to ask questions. I have this saying, that I don’t want the Assistant Principal feeling when I’m working with someone, dating back to my high school days. You don’t want to be intimidated by anyone working the field, you want to know that your concerns will be answered. There are no stupid questions, so it’s all about understanding.
I know this is a very long post, but just some thoughts I had. I’ll probably break it down in more detail when I get my blog going again, but take it section by section. Anyway, hope this helps.

This is an update of my MD from last year, which you can find here. All figures are in CAD. (Approx. CAD/USD conversion is 1 CAD = 0.75 USD. So my income is ~$58,240 USD. I've tried to note the change since last time where I could!
Section One: Assets and Debt

• Total NW: $81,100
  • Up from ~$58,000 last year.
• Retirement Balance (and how you got there): $62,230
  • Up from $45,466 last year. I've been adding to my RRSP since my first "real" job in highschool - while my early contributions were miniscule, it got me in the habit of saving. My previous employer had a good match, which also helped.
• Savings account balance: $11,290
  • TFSA up from $9,846 last year. Not a huge improvement - I focused more on my RRSP and Emergency Fund this year.
• Emergency Fund Balance: $7,500
  • Was $1,103 last year.
• Chequing Account Balance:
  • Almost everything gets autotransferred on payday to my retirement accounts, sinking funds, or a holding account where my bills are autopaid from. I only keep my "discretionary spending" money in this account.
• Debt: None. I pay off my cc as soon as I make a purchase, and check my transactions/pay off any autopay on a weekly basis. I run all my purchases through my cc to get points toward free groceries.
• Additional Questions:
  • Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?: There was expectation, but not from family - I was the first in my family to go to higher ed. They saved and planned to contribute if I did want to go, but what I did after highschool was up to me. I was top of my class in highschool so there was a lot of expectations from the other adults in my life (teachers, school counselors, etc) that I would really make something of myself. My parents paid my tuition for two years of my undergrad, my grandparents gave me a few thousand dollars as a gift toward my expenses and the remainder I paid for myself with my savings from working part time and through summers.
  • Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances? We didn't have any serious conversations about money, but there was a lot of emphasis on saving long term, saving up for things we wanted, and occasionally if I wanted something expensive (like when I wanted my hair done for middle school graduation), a discussion about how mom or dad would have worked X hours to pay for it. I never felt hard done by, but there were definitely a lot of things other kids had or got to do that we didn't. Once I got my first job I didn't get any spending money from my parents anymore.
  • What was your first job and why did you get it?: In 8th grade I got a job at my school, cleaning tables during lunch recess (our school didn't have a cafeteria, so kids ate at their desks). The principal offered it to me and my best friend. It paid $50/month. It seems insane now because we were not old enough to work legally. In hindsight I think it was the school finding a way to subsidize the costs of the year-end school trip (a week-long overnight trip out of province) for two families who didn't quite qualify for the school's official aid but wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise. All the money went to the trip, and I babysat to get some spending money.
  • Did you worry about money growing up?: Not really. There were some lean times but I never felt like I really wanted for anything. By the time I was in highschool things had gotten much more stable.
  • Do you worry about money now? Yep. Not about day-to-day spending, but I worry about longer-range money issues like whether I'll be able to own a home, save enough to retire, etc. A lot of my friends are a lot more comfortable and able to buy homes and generally be freer with money, mostly those in dual-income-no-kids situations - and I'm feeling that lag a bit.
  • At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?: I haven't received any financial support from family since I was about 20, but if my parents come to visit me they'll usually bring some grocery items from their Costco runs and refuse to accept payment for it. I currently have about 4 months' emergency fund saved, and could last another 6 on my TFSA if I needed to. Working on bumping this up!
  • Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?: While I was in undergrad and paying my own tuition my grandparents gave me $2000 as a birthday gift to give me a little breathing room in my budget and so "you can do something other than work and study". They were hoping it would enable me to meet a husband and get my MRS (hahaha). It did not, but it did ease my stress about money.

Section Two: Income

• Main Job Monthly Take Home: $3,816 after deductions. I got a 10% raise in July.
  • Deductions: Tax $882, EI $86, CPP $137, Retirement plan $210 (matched by employer)
• PTO: 18 days + 5 additional during the holidays when our office is shut.
• Bonus: I get a bonus each year from the day job as well. This year, $5500 pre-tax.
• Side Gig Monthly Take Home: ~$900 averaged monthly
  • Varies year to year based on student enrolment and whether I get funding for additional content development time.
• Salary Story (Averaged hourly earnings into approx annual earnings so it's more "apples to apples" comparison)
  • Pre-2010: ~$15-20k per year. Various jobs during highschool and university. Retail, farm and animal shelter work, tutoring, baby/pet/housesitting, factory job in the summers.
  • 2010: ~$35k Intern, Retail, Nanny, Temp. I graduated university and started some postgrad certificate courses full time through summer. Had a PT retail job, a FT unpaid internship after summer classes ended, and was a nanny for a relative's kids in exchange for a steep discount on room and board. After my internship ended I picked up a temp receptionist gig that paid well while it lasted - I was able to save up to move out to my own place after Christmas.
  • Q1 + Q2 of 2011: ~$22k Freelancer / Assistant. The company I interned for hired me back as a freelancer at $19/hr, and I got a remote job as a "business assistant" (aka whatever they needed) at min wage, but I could set my own hours and work up to 35hrs/week. I crammed in as much as I could because my freelance job wasn't guaranteed.
  • Remainder of 2011: ~$36k - Digital Assistant. My day job offered me a FT position and I was so grateful for the stability (my freelance hours had been uneven) that I accepted their first offer not realizing it was less than I was making as a freelancer. I remind myself that at least now I have benefits and some security, and I still have my other job. Two weeks later they tell me if I don't quit my remote "business assistant" job I'll be fired since that company is in the same industry, so I do. Pushover!
  • 2013: ~37k - Digital Assistant. Yep, two years, no promotion, small raise. Love working in the arts! /s. After I was forced out of my remote job in 2011 I started babysitting, petsitting, shoveling snow for my older neighbours - anything I could to bring in some extra cash, but I have no idea what I made from that work. Most of it ended up going out the door pretty quick on regular life expenses.
  • 2014: $40k - Digital Coordinator. Promotion at last. I struggled a lot with depression throughout the end of 2013 and all of 2014 after some traumatic events, and I'm so shocked and thrilled that something good actually happened. I don't negotiate because I'm a husk of a person. By this point I'm not functional enough to keep up all my side gigs.
  • 2016: ~$45k - Digital Coordinator / Instructor: After so much therapy I'm starting to realize my company is trash and my industry is a dead end for me, and I actually have the confidence to do something about it. I dump my shitty boyfriend. I get a part time gig as an instructor. My boss tells me in my performance review I have "no leadership potential" and I go home and immediately start looking for another job.
  • 2017: ~$63k - Product Manager / Instructor: After many failed interviews, I finally get a new job offer at $55k - less than a PM typically makes in Toronto, but more than I was making before, and I was so hungry for a new opportunity I just jump on it. My new manager is really invested in my PD, within the first few months they have me speak on their behalf at three conferences and commit to $2,500 of PD spending.
  • 2018: ~$76k - Product Manager / Instructor: I get a raise at my day job (modest - about $2500) but it's a crackerjack year for the course I teach - it's a high enrolment year so I have more sections. Less free time, but now that I'm more experienced it's a bit easier and it'd be hard to find another side gig that pays as well for the amount of time I put in.
  • 2020: ~78k - Product Manager / Instructor: Sensing a theme? I'm not much of a job hopper, which I know is impacting my salary growth, but I'm a "craves stability" person and I love my job, they are constantly giving me opportunities to learn and grow and investing in my PD. Plus a 10% raise.

Section Three: Expenses

• Rent: $1,505 including utilities - just went up from $1,476 in September. I live solo in a one-bedroom in an old walk-up building.
• Renters insurance: $29
• Retirement contributions: $1,600
• Sinking Funds contributions: $205
• Emergency Fund contribution: $500, plus occasional random lump sums if I have discretionary funds left over.
• Donations: approx $100/mo, sometimes more. I volunteer about 10-15 hrs/month with different organizations throughout the year, though it varies based on their activities. Been helping with a lot of digital admin/tech support/mailing list stuff this year.
• Internet: $68
• Cellphone: $48
• Transit: About $14/month - I'm working from home, and my neighbourhood has everything I need within walking distance. I use transit a handful of times a month these days, so I just plonk some money on my card when I need to.
• Therapy: $540 per quarter for BetterHelp, approx $168/month.
  • I get $800/year reimbursed under my work benefits.
• Subscriptions: $27 - Netflix, Spotify, extra iCloud storage, and a Quip toothbrush.

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Diary:

Day 1 - Thursday ($42)

9am - Slept in! I have today and tomorrow off (using up some PTO) and am glad for the extra rest, but the construction work around my apartment building kicks off at 9:01 on the dot, waking me up. I browse the internet before showering and getting the day started.
11am - I have a massage appointment so I mask up and walk over. It’s a sunny fall morning, so an enjoyable walk. I’ve been in a lot of pain the last while after an unexpected hospital stay and medical procedures so I’m really looking forward to some relief now that I’m cleared to have this massage! ($30 tip for my RMT, insurance covers the actual bill.) I was nervous about COVID safety but this is a small clinic and they’re taking it really seriously (face shields and masks for all!), and it’s nice to have a massage - it’s the first “non-invasive, non-medical” human touch I’ll have since March, since I live by myself and have been strict about distancing. I have to say, it feels incredibly weird to be naked except a mask. Like being naked with a watch on.
12:45pm - I feel so much better! I walk a long route home to enjoy the sunshine and stop at a bakery and pick up some pumpkin, apple, and caramel scones ($12 for three, incl tip), since they have a little doorway table for service. Most cafes in the neighbourhood have restored indoor seating and I feel weird about going inside past unmasked diners. Once I get back home I have a scone, spend a couple of hours answering students’ questions for my teaching job, and wash some dishes in the kitchen. The afternoon sort of disappears into that, plus some random internet browsing/YouTube sewing tutorials.
6pm - Therapy call (prepaid - I use BetterHelp and pay quarterly - I’m due to pay in 2 weeks). I am so grateful to be back in therapy. Isolation has been hard on me, and my medical situation really left me raw. It’s scary to have a totally normal day and end it in an ambulance unexpectedly, and I’m still unpacking my feelings about it.
7pm - I sodastream some water, add lavender syrup, and hop on Zoom for game night with some friends. We play Jackbox games together and snort-laugh the whole way through. This is a new group I was just starting to befriend IRL in the weeks before the pandemic. These weekly game nights have been so great to keep the momentum.
9pm - I dress my last tortilla as a pizza, bake it, and then dump the remainder of a box of arugula on top after it’s out of the oven and eat it over the sink like a crispy pizza taco. After eating I text a bit with a guy I met on reddit (henceforth RG - Reddit Guy - same guy from my last MD.) He sends me a video of his dog doing tricks, and we count down and hit play on the same TV episode. We’ve been doing this little nightly ritual since the start of the pandemic, and it’s a nice way to keep this long-distance whatever-this-is going. Things have stepped up from merely flirty to decidedly romantic in the last year, but with the US/Canadian border closed for the foreseeable future who knows where this is going or if we’ll ever get to meet.
11:30pm - I have a quick warm bath before bedtime and after making a nest from all my pillows, fall asleep to a “sleep story” from the Calm app. Some smooth-voiced man talking about an island in Norway takes me away.

Day 2 - Friday ($69)

8am - I wake up before my alarm, laze around in bed reading newsletters and reddit. I open my work email, file away all the automated messages I get from our software, and close it again. I usually check it once a day on vacation just to clear that shit as a gift to my future self.
9:30am - I shower while listening to a podcast and check my messages while brushing my teeth. A neighbourhood pal asks if I want to have a coffee in the park with her before it gets too cold for these outside meetups. I reply and we arrange a plan to meet up.
10:15am - My friend texts and says she’s going to stop at Starbucks on her way to the park - do I want her to grab me anything? I mobile order a caramel apple spice ($5 - I’m off caffeine - doctor’s orders) and tell her it should be there waiting when she gets there. I bring the two remaining scones from yesterday’s bakery trip for us. We hang out at the park for a few hours on our distanced blankets, chatting until our fingertips are thoroughly chilled. Like a lot of my friends, the pandemic has had her and her partner seeking cheaper, more spacious dwellings out of the city. They’re moving in a few months. This is the fourth such announcement I’ve had this fall, so I’m better at being excited for them and asking questions all about their new digs rather than being openly bummed. But inside I’m a little gutted. It’s hard to watch my people move away!
12:30pm: I took the long route home from the park, then settle in with some mint tea and check on my students. I’m teaching online this semester and the course is “asynchronous” - meaning they move through interactive modules of written+video content at their own pace, so I post and reply frequently on the discussion boards, answer emails, and help them along. I have a chatty group this term - there’s a very active kdrama discussion thread in the “non-course related” board. I love when my online students still work at connecting with their classmates - I can’t imagine what it would be like trying to do fully online school and missing out on that in-person experience.
2pm - I whip up a quick chicken soup with some chicken and veggies from the freezer, some egg noodles and a bouillon cube and eat that before spending the afternoon cleaning up - vacuuming, laundry, and online browsing for some sewing supplies. I spend $64 on some additional fabric and bias tape I keep forgetting to buy to finish some projects. I can’t wait to go to fabric stores in person again someday. While waiting for my stuff to finish in the dryer, I do a short Yoga with Adriene video.
7:30pm - After dinner, a friend calls to complain about her boyfriend and we chat for awhile while I organize my craft supplies into bins I picked up at the dollar store last weekend. He’s been a grade-A dingus since the beginning of the pandemic, and just told her one of his roommates tested positive for COVID - on Monday. He stayed with her Tuesday and Wednesday and “forgot to mention it”. DUDE. C’mon! I tell her if she needs anything dropped off at her place - groceries, drugstore stuff, emergency ice cream or baked goods - just call.
10pm - I make some popcorn and queue up Kim’s Convenience with RG, we chitchat about the day and plans for the weekend. After a few episodes I crawl into bed while he tells me all about a COVID-safe date we could go on if we weren’t separated by a few hundred kilometres. It’s a nice daydream.

Day 3 - Saturday ($0)

~1am - My downstairs neighbours are suddenly blasting music so loud my bedframe is vibrating. At 1am. Shoot me. By 1:45 I’m over it and go downstairs to knock on their door. I bang on their door a few times, no answer. One of the other tenants down the hall comes out, we commiserate over the noise. He bangs on the door too, but the music blasts on. We shrug at eachother and go back to our apartments.
~2am - I’m losing my mind at the noise, which seems to be coming from directly under my bedroom. Assuming they maybe have the bedroom door closed and couldn’t hear the knocking, I go to the living room and grab my set of weights and start dropping them on the bedroom floor over and over again like a maniac hoping to catch their attention. It works though - after a few minutes the music is off. Sweet silence!
8:45am - I wake up, roll over, and doze a bit more before getting up to take my medication and instead of staying up, I crawl back in. I chat with RG a bit and send a check-in text to my friend with the crummy boyfriend.
10:45am - I finally get out of bed (I love laying around. If I’m going to be single with no responsibilities I am going to bask in every moment of it) and I eat leftover roasted cauliflower from last night’s dinner for breakfast. Afterwards I clean the bathroom, put away my laundry from yesterday, and log on to my online class to check in on my students and reply to their posts, and review the material that’s going up next week.
4pm - After the day spent with chores I finish putting together a meal plan for the week and grocery order for delivery tomorrow. I actually love grocery shopping in person, but with the uptick in cases recently I’m less interested in going. Afterwards I check my online class forums again (there’s an assignment due tonight so I want to watch for questions) and then go for a short walk around my neighbourhood. It’s nice to get out a bit and see the leaves changing.
6pm - I make a chickpea and lentil curry in my Instant Pot, adding an assortment of random veggies from my freezer, while RG shoots me a text about starting our “together time” a bit early tonight so we can watch Hamilton together. I agree, and after dinner work on some sewing.
9:30pm - Almost completely finished sewing a shirt - I’ll finish the hem another day and the neckline when the bias tape I ordered shows up. I put everything away and I eat some arrowroot crackers with nutella while watching Hamilton with RG. I’ve already seen it a few times but I love it. Midway through I exchange a few emails with a student who is rapidly approaching the midnight assignment deadline and just can’t get her code working. I can tell right away she’s made a teeny tiny typo that’s had a domino effect on her whole assignment. I point her in the right direction, she fixes it, and ends the night happy.
12am - Curling up in bed. I put on another Calm app story and fall asleep.

Day 4 - Sunday ($127)

7:30am - Trying to reacquaint myself with my alarm after a few days off. I roll over and doze a little until 8, then get up, take my meds, and hop in the shower.
9:45am - One of my American friends calls to chat. She was invited to a wedding and doesn’t want to go because the groom’s family are anti-mask QAnon types and she won’t feel safe there. We brainstorm about what kind of gift is appropriate as an in-absentia “Sorry you married into a family of nutjobs” gift.
10:30am - I wash the dishes from last night, then make a sandwich with hummus and sliced veggies and sit down to eat it while I download my students’ assignments for the week and reply to a few more discussion posts. I’ll get to grading later this afternoon.
1pm - Time vanished into a bunch of little tasks and a wormhole of researching possible holiday gifts for family members.I text with my brother’s girlfriend to get a sense of their whereabouts this week - I’m trying to get a birthday treat delivered to his apartment. She confirms a date and I place the order for some safe-to-eat-raw cookie dough in fun flavours ($37). I’m secretly jealous that this place isn’t local to me because it sounds delicious.
2pm - I sodastream some water, add lime juice, and heat up some leftover curry from last night and settle in to start grading assignments with some music.
4pm - My mom calls to talk about Thanksgiving (next weekend here in Canada). They really want me to come, but with cases rising in the province I don’t know how safe it is and I have a lot of guilt about bringing my city cooties to them in a rural area. They haven’t been that cautious - she talks at length about going to a party the night before. By the end of the call I’m frustrated and undecided. It’s pretty clear if I opt not to go I’ll be the “bad guy”, the daughter who abandoned everyone to move to the city and thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. But I have a lot of anxiety around it.
5:30pm - My grocery delivery arrives ($90, including a tip for the delivery person). I put everything away and eat a few pieces of dried pineapple and mango before getting back to marking.
7:30pm - I cook some salmon and roasted veggies and, while eating, text with a friend about my Thanksgiving dilemma. She’s in a similar boat with her parents, we weigh the pros and cons together but neither of us end up deciding anything.
10pm - I watch an episode of Kim’s Convenience with RG before he goes to bed (he has an early morning tomorrow) and afterwards do a Yoga with Adriene video, poke around on Reddit, and go to bed myself around 11.

Day 5 - Monday ($9)

7:15am - Alarm goes off. I wake up, but mostly scroll Reddit until 8. I desperately miss working from an office with other people and better chairs, but if WFH ever ends I will miss getting to stay in bed as long as humanly possible.
8am - Shower, moisturize and put on some lipstain - that’s the extent of my morning routine these days. I get dressed (I’ve been wearing the same threadbare jeans almost all quarantine. They’re so comfortable, but hideous). I make some tea and oatmeal and move over to my desk.
8:45am - I check my credit card statement online while eating. A return I’ve been waiting on is finally processed (+$41.28) - returns by mail are so slow - I put the parcel in over a month ago. I check my class boards too - no new posts to reply to.
9am - Log into work and post my “hello” message in our staff chat. We have a “Hellos and Goodbyes” room to keep track of people’s comings and goings throughout the day. Our CEO pings me and asks how my time off was. He’s been very attentive since my hospitalization and has been checking in about my workload, how I’m feeling. It’s nice to fee seen.
10am - One on one with my junior PM. We chat on Zoom re: what’s on the docket for our projects this month, and I take her temperature a bit re: work/life balance, how she’s managing our extended work from home and the pandemic. She has a lot of vacation days left and I encourage her to use them even if she’s not planning to go away - mental health and rest is important!
11am - One on one with my manager. She calls via phone since her teenage daughter is doing school on Zoom and their internet is overtaxed. She runs through what I missed last week and updates me on a new project I’ll be taking over from her later this month. I’m currently responsible for ⅗ of our major software projects and this will bring me up to ⅘. (Don’t think I won’t make a big deal about that when it comes time for our next reviews.)
11:45am - Answer a customer support email from someone struggling to use the site. After a bit of back and forth I discover it’s because they’re using a decade-old version of Internet Explorer. I hop on the phone, walk them through upgrading to Edge, and they’re a happy camper. We don’t have customer support at our org - the PMs and Junior PMs manage support for their projects. Some days I hate it, but most of the time it’s satisfying to tackle a small and solvable problem amidst the bigger-picture work.
1pm: Team meeting with my software team. We usually do these in the morning but one of the devs had to take his kid for a COVID test since he’s a bit sniffly - schools here are pretty strict. It’s a short meeting, just getting a sense of how everyone’s moving through the current open projects, and then a show-and-tell of pets, since the aforementioned sniffly kid joined at the end. I do not have any pets and am as delighted by them as the kid.
1:20pm: Lunchtime! I heat up some leftover curry and chat a bit with RG, who’s checking in about my stress level. Since my hospital stay he’s been worried about me pushing too hard and not giving myself time to heal. We talk about our mornings and he tells me he added some new songs he thinks I’ll like to a shared Spotify playlist, so I know what I’ll be listening to this afternoon.
2pm: I spend the afternoon working on spec writing for upcoming development projects while my developers investigate a bug a customer reported over lunch.
5:10pm - I set an alarm on my phone to go off when it’s time to log off for the day. I change into some pants with more structural integrity, mask and jacket up, and go for a walk.
5:45pm: While I’m at the pharmacy picking up my prescription, the pharmacist mentions they have flu shots in, so I get one while I’m there. ($8 for my prescriptions, $1 for the impulse coffee crisp bar, $0 for the peace of mind of being flu-free even if I barely leave my house). While I’m walking home, RG calls from his commute to ask what I’m going to do about Thanksgiving. He thinks I should go - it’s generally safe in my parents’ area (less than 30 active cases in the county), and he gently suggests that the fall is probably going to be pretty hard on me emotionally and it might be a good idea to take the opportunity to go away while it’s relatively safe. I keep thinking it over.
6pm - Cook some chicken and roasted veggies for dinner, and after eating, set up my sewing stuff to finish up that shirt hem and start cutting pattern pieces for another project, a robe, while listening to podcasts.
10pm - I set up my iPad on a stool next to my bathtub and watch Kim’s Convenience with RG on chat while soaking in the warm, bubbly water and drinking some chamomile tea, and eventually dry off and head to bed around 11:30.

Day 6 - Tuesday ($0)

8am - Did I snooze my alarm for an hour? You bet. I just couldn’t stay asleep last night. When I finally wake up, RG has left a little video message for me, which I watch, and then watch again, and then start getting ready for the day. I braided my hair before bed so I have those great post-braid waves today.
8:55am - At my desk, logged in and ready to go with some oatmeal. I drop a note in the staff Hellos and Goodbyes and peek at my class discussion board before picking up where I left off yesterday.
10am - Client call. This client is hoping to do something a little “off label” with our tools. We chat a bit about what they’re hoping to accomplish and what their goals are, and I answer a few data questions for them.
10:30am - Team meeting! We spend some time puzzling through my client’s “off label” ideas, do some digging on another client’s data issue, and then spend a little time watching a funny news blooper one of the devs screenshares and joking around. I don't mind a little fun in our meetings!
11am - Biweekly all-staff meeting. Our CEO gives a little roundup of how things are going big-picture, and then one by one each of my colleagues gives a brief update of what they’re working on. Many pets and children make appearances - as a group the general vibe with interruptions on zooms is “delight”, which I appreciate. Nobody’s trying to “keep up appearances”. It’s all a mess we’re in together.
12:20pm - Lunchtime. Check COVID case counts again for my parents’ area (still undecided) while chatting with a friend about her thanksgiving plans. She and her husband have been isolating at a family cabin since early summer, when their city apartment building started renovating. They’re planning a “so bad it’s good” movie marathon, so while I eat leftover curry we chat about our favourite bad-good movies.
1:25pm- Reacquainting myself with some material for my 2pm meeting. I’m on an HR Committee at work and we’re meeting to check in on our work/life and wellness strategies as we head into another WFH quarter. The transition to remote has gone (mostly) well for our company, but there’s always room to improve!
3pm - After the HR meeting I put together a custom report request for our database team to run for me, and then pull up our team’s roadmap for the fiscal year and make some tweaks. I share developers with other teams and I know a big project has dropped in for them elsewhere, so I adjust. We’re already close to hitting our metrics for the year so I’m happy to let the other teams keep my devs busy for awhile while I prep and spec some larger feature builds for them.
4pm - My friend with the dingus boyfriend texts. Luckily, both she and her boyfriend tested negative, but since he lives with someone who’s sick, they’ll both need to test again in a few days. She talks about wanting to break up with him. I encourage her to take her time thinking about it. I think they should break up - he’s a dope. But she’s the one in the relationship - not my call!
5:15pm - I log off for a bit. I’m feeling a bit drained today. I didn’t sleep well last night and I know my indecision about Thanksgiving is weighing on me. I do a yoga video and lay on the floor crying afterward. It happens, part of that good ol’ depression life. Sometimes you just need a lil cry. I’ve been really emotionally overwhelmed since my hospitalization, and some close friends have really broken my trust recently. I’m working on it with my therapist, but sometimes you’re just fresh outta emotional juice, and while I love my family, we’re not close - time with them would be nice, but it’s not restorative.
7:10pm - Alright alright. Time to rally. I log on to my online portal and reply to my students’ board posts and questions. They seem like they’re doing a good job grasping the material, which makes me happy. I never wanted to be a teacher but it makes me feel so satisfied when I can see their progress. It cheers me up a little.
8:45pm - Time got away from me doing that work. I throw some fish and veggies into the oven and call my parents. I tell them I'm still undecided about Thanksgiving, Mom complains that I'm taking things too seriously, I text her the graph of cases again. She tells me I can make a day-before decision if I want to, that they'll isolate the rest of the week, for real, but she just needs to know by Friday around noon if I want to be picked up. I appreciate the extra time to consider things. Then Mom asks me to place a grocery click-and-collect order for her (she's not good at internet). I say I will, and she proceeds to slowly text me a grocery list one item at a time for the next hour. LOL. Moms.
10:15pm - I drink some sparkling water while watching Kim’s Convenience with RG on chat. After one episode I’m wiped, so I go to wash up. By the time I’m getting into bed, RG has left me a video message - the first half is his dog adorably snoring. The second half is just him telling me everything’s going to be OK and apologizing that he can’t be here to do our own Thanksgiving. Cry again - happier tears this time.

Day 7 - Wednesday ($0)

8:20am - Cutting it close today, wakeup-wise. It took me forever to fall asleep last night so I snooze a lot today, but when I finally get up, RG’s left me another voice memo encouraging me to get up and kick this day’s ass. I’ll try! I have a quick shower, mist my hair to refresh the curl a little, and get dressed.
9am - Log on and say hi to the team, then help the marketing team with some content for our monthly newsletter. Once that’s done, I make a smoothie with frozen mango and dragonfruit, then head back to my desk to load some data into our internal dashboards for our CEO’s reports later this week. Once it’s loaded, he DMs me and we chat a bit about the comparison year over year, possible insights, nerd out about graphs a bit.
10:30am - Team meeting. Alongside the usual updates I’ve added extra time to discuss some upcoming features and the specs I have in progress. I don’t love speccing something without involving them - they feel a lot more ownership when they’ve had a chance to be involved in the process. They get really excited about the new build and ask if I can reassign them to this instead of the other project they’re pinch hitting on now. Nice try!
12:15pm - Lunchtime! Some colleagues and I hop into Netflix Party to watch an episode of Queer Eye together. When we were in the office we used to have occasional TV lunch parties so we’ve been trying to mimic that in our new WFH life. I eat the last of my leftover curry while our Netflix Party chat goes OFF in full home-porn-drool at the reveal of Bobby’s house makeover.
1pm - Back to work, more data audits for our research team.
2pm - Internal meeting with another colleague about a section of her project I’m pitch-hitting on - super productive. She runs a tight meeting and I really admire her. After the meeting I write specs for the rest of the day based on the meeting this morning. I put on some old episodes of Reply All and get stuck in.
5:15pm - Head out for a short walk around the neighbourhood to get some air and outside time, talk a bit with RG while he’s on his commute. Once I’m back home, I do some tidying up.
6pm - Therapy call, I talk a bit about my Thanksgiving dilemma but we move on to other topics too. Feeling a bit better than yesterday, but a little rough around the edges. These are the kinds of days where I tend to feel tempted to order in, and while I scroll UberEats, nothing really looks that good, so I close the app and decide to just cook what I’d planned.
7pm - Make dinner, chicken and roasted veggies again. What can I say, I’ll party down on garlicky roasted broccoli any day of the week. I wash dishes when I’m done eating.
8pm - Pop online to check out my students’ posts for the day and reply to some emails. I briefly scroll through stuff on the IKEA website. I’ve been hoping to get some inserts for my Kallax unit, but the ones I want aren’t in stock, still.
9pm - Shower and wash my hair. I get out a shower scrub from Lush and really go to town, I do the Aztec Secret clay mask too. Why not!
9:45pm - Post up on the couch with some sparkling water, ready for TV time with RG. We watch the last two episodes of Kim’s Convenience and chat a bit before bed about what to watch next - we have a lot of good options, but decide to just see what we’re in the mood for tomorrow.
Weekly Total: $247

• Food + Drink: $108
• Fun + Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $38
• Clothes + Beauty: $64 on sewing supplies (future clothes + entertainment while I make them?)
• Transport: $0
• Other: $37 (gift)

Reflections: I keep an MD 365 days a year so I can tell by comparison this is on the lower end of an average range for this year so far - I usually get delivery at least once a week (sometimes twice), but I wasn’t feeling it this week! My average spend has really been ticking down the last couple of months. While the pandemic sucks and the isolation is rough (shoutout to my fellow live-aloners), I’m enjoying not spending as much, and that my spending is really heavily weighted toward things that contribute to my sense of well-being.